I knew driver training in Germany was really, really good.

What industry are you in where if you work 45 hours a week you’re lazy?

Are you sure what he’s holding should be poutine? Coz I always thought he liked Putin more

What kind of Chuck E Cheese hell is this? It’s like Dante’s trampoline.

To avoid this.

I’d be fine with more cycling...if it didn’t involve putting your life into the hands the lowest-common-denominator driver on the road with you, with nothing but a stiff parka and some jeans between you and their bumper and asphalt. Call me a cynic, but that’s not really good odds. And considering the number of people…

But Zeus wasn’t even a creator god in Greek myth! He was like two generations away from the primordial beings.

“That Apple company! The Irish one! Tell them to start growing fruit in the U.S. or I’ll put a tariff on them to!”

I lip synced my oath and had my fingers crossed, so mine doesn’t count.

Good! I’d be sad if my name wasn’t on one of those lists by now. I shall wear it as a badge of pride.

This just occurred to me: I’m going to buy whiteboard paint, paint it onto foam board, and use dry-erase markers for signs. Then I can reuse the signs.

What do we do though? I’ve been protesting, signing petitions, donating, calling my representatives, trying to get more involved in local politics, etc., but the frustrating thing is that it seems like no one can stop him. It also feels like we have no true leadership. Honestly I wish Obama would come back into the…

Have you ever met a Trump supporter?

Someone in the room with Trump: “Sir, you won the election because our cybersecurity is weak”

Security is not a yes or no question, it’s a policy determined by degrees.

The Boston Bombers. The older Tsarnaev brother specifically. They came here originally in 2001 and stayed on asylum visas. The older one, then left the country in the mid-2000s and eventually re-entered after spending time in Chechnya.

could somebody please get him a speech coach? (its like trying to figure what an excited toddler is saying to you.. cept they’re cute and charming.....mostly)

This is me on most days. Hopelessly befuddled by everything but then suddenly realizing I have a pint of Chunky Monkey left in the freezer.

And, with Trump, I imagine all new records requests will look like this