98% guaranteed sexual assault? Come on, Mark, that's complete nonsense.

Charles C. Johnson is a "journalist" like a beer league slob is a "professional baseball player."

What are you, made out of popsicle sticks?

I mean, you COULD have a drink or two without actually being drunk, but... yeah, that's some pretty delightful horseshit. Going to the strip club just to have a drink, because you like the atmosphere? That's like the time I went into a Hollywood Video and just bought a box of Sour Patch Kids (long story, but…

Well doesn't this just sound fucking excruciating.

CLEARLY the best part of that video is McCarver having to eat shit immediately after calling it the biggest give-up at-bat of the season. Brilliant as ever, Tim. (Though to be fair, he would probably have been right 99 times out of 100.)

Yep, Taylor Swift does NOT care what the haters think! Here's yet another song about how that's the case!

What are the odds this goes to a penalty shootout?

I agree that it's unclear - but even if he was saying that, doesn't that make the implication that it doesn't matter if there are female superheroes leading their own movies because movies are make-believe? That's not a ton better, really.

The TMQ thing reminds me of old Simmons columns where he would refer to where players had finished in previous years on his NBA Trade Value list as though it were objective data. It'd be like, "Paul Pierce was in the top ten for eight straight years! He was clearly better than people thought." That's you using your…

What are the odds this was a drunk kid being like, "Dude, I bet I can jump over your car?"

Assuming this is their varsity game from last night, it looks like the final score was 41-14. Not close, though at the same time not SO much of a blowout that you would necessarily rule out trying the onside kick. But we don't know what point in the game this happened - it could have been 41-0 early in the fourth…

Is there a rule that you can't write for Deadspin until you've formed at least three terrible food opinions that you can work into columns? Mac and cheese is amazing. And Kraft is garbage. It's like the "Gametime Cheap Pasta Product of the Week." No wonder you must have it.

Is there a rule that you can't write for Deadspin until you've formed at least three terrible food opinions that you can work into columns? Mac and cheese is amazing. And Kraft is garbage. It's like the "Gametime Cheap Pasta Product of the Week." No wonder you must have it.

And Rocker did steroids. I'm not necessarily saying Strickland HAS used PEDs, but to suddenly acquire a 100-mph fastball at age 26 and also have weird anger issues does set off a few bells...

Despite the shitty result in Moscow, this is pretty great news for Man City, who were a lot more up against it before Roma's goal difference was shot to hell by this match. Granted, City still probably have to win out, or at LEAST win the next two and hope Roma lose again to Bayern in Rome and then probably draw in…

Hell of a strawman you've got there. What did this post have to do with suggesting that the worst teams in the Champions League group stage is better than the best team in MLS or Mexico? Also, Roma are clearly better than Ludogorets, which kind of ruins whatever point you thought you were making.

Google suggests that this may be some very low-grade meme, as there seem to be a dozen different places where it's popped up in some sort of Q&A setting. Maybe it's the same one guy who gets a boner every time he asks it.

This is just wrong. You have to get to extra innings to have ANY chance to win if you're tied, bottom nine, on the road. You put in the better pitcher to give your offense a chance. You're talking like someone who views this as no different than a regular-season game, which makes me think you ARE Mike Matheny,…

Or maybe Rosenthal can get six outs? Or maybe Martinez or Maness, both of whom finished more than a dozen games this year, could have stepped in to close in the tenth? Your logic (and, by extension, Matheny's) is terrible. If Wacha has a chance of blowing it no matter what (and this is assuming that the only choice…