A deeply mediocre team quarterbacked by Nick Foles isn’t exactly a big draw for the citizens of Los Angeles

I’m more interested in skipping directly to the airless colored tires...

After hearing this, a confused Wes Welker showed up in chaps and a leather vest with a lasso in hand.

Feast Mode.

“I’d hit that.”

An 80-year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. “I’ve never been better!” he boasted. “I’ve got an eighteen year old bride who’s pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?”

Doctor: “ok how do you spell your name?”

He stole that quote like it was in the seafood section of Publix.

Lions don’t accept opinions of unwilling sexual partners either.

I feel if you antagonize another man in a situation where you know he can’t put hands on you, that definitely makes you a “bitch ass nigga.”

At 9:30 p.m., another man wearing an explosive vest blew himself up at Gate H, on the stadium’s Northeast side, killing only himself.

“I suck now.” —Kobe Bryant, November 1, 2015

You only need to look at 487 dicks to play it.

Fuck, you sound like the local fucking police. Look, there’s no damned sign saying there’s an age limit on the god damned PlayPlace!

It looks like Michael J. Fox is flying

Yup, full stop. Can we just apply Occam’s razor to this bitch already? Get rid of guns. If people start killing each other with chainsaws, or humming birds, or fucking pencils next, I’ll be the first to say ‘get the fuck rid of them too’. Jesus H Christ on a pogo stick, fuck me running, and shalamalamadingdong, stop…

No. No, it’s really not. Guns get used because they’re moderately convenient but if there were no guns, it would be poison or explosives or something even more creative.

The referee can try to explain why he should be viewed as part of the field, but maybe that kid doesn’t see everything so black and white.

It’s funny that car companies can actually kill their customers through negligence and not face any serious consequences but if you try to get around an emissions regulation it’s going to lead to probable criminal prosecution. This is the world we live in.

D 7...Miss