Those are obviously for the giant spiders.

"I'll eat a pig's butthole if its delicious." Couldn't have said it any better. Macadamia nuts are sooo good I would probably eat whatever junk they put on top of them. When does a novelty food cross the line into real food? I keep in the fridge novelty hot sauces but then I end up using them in all my cooking.

You always aim for center mass. Always. Shooting in the limbs only works in film.

Okay, this is too much. she is too flippin cute. I'm so stoked for Karrie right now. What a spunky kid.

So seriously, how do I set up a "no stories that contain Miley Cyrus" filter here? Is that an option?

R. Kelly?

Why can't everyone just dress up like a sexy hamburger and cool it with the headdresses and sombreros?

...aaaand now we know how racists get their kinks.

Oh, yuck. Troll patrol is definitely needed on this article. The MRAs have arrived. . .

Wait, I thought it was women who lie about rape...

To really get the full bodybuilder feeling, I oiled him up. Yes, I did it myself, though he could easily have done it. I did it because I knew it would freak him out if I rubbed him with oil, and that was really funny. The problem was that my hands got so slippery I had a hard time using my camera.

2 1/2 STARS

Masturbating after recently dicing a fresh jalapeño, which apparently some people have actually done.

Down with embarrassment, up with periods! Period pride!!! Fear and ignorance are the enemies! (My mom had a super-detailed book on the female body and all it's workings that I was able to peruse to answer all of my questions. And the questions of every last one of my friends.) Seriously, who do we have to fuck to…

Hate on, ya basic bitch! ;-)

“You women read all these magazines to get advice on how to keep a man, and it’s so easy,” he says. “We’re not complex. Just do something nice for us. Like make a sandwich.”

Dude, she started this 15 months ago and she's only on sandwich #176. Something about this sounds fishy. She's almost exactly on the "Three sandwiches a week, four weeks a month, 12 months year" pace - not the ramped up "Making sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert" pace she says. I CALL BULLSHIT (on…