Whoever shot that video has fucking Parkinson’s.

What, you expect us to concentrate for a full THREE minutes?!

Shtad. Bodat bat shtad.

Do we have to use our Jalopnik Gold™️ to purchase things?

A bit ironic that this car has an entirely different method of downforce and no wings... but wings are exactly where you’d see ‘NO STEP’ written on an aircraft.

How about this exciting ad featuring a very attractive lady, for the automotive drink-of-water that is the Vauxhall Corsa?

It’s called ‘Riviera Blue’, for those wondering.

On mid-2000s Alfa Romeos, this feature is called ‘Auto’.

My Dad had one of these. Green with a yellow pinstripe.

Username checks out.

The Yaris also seems to be moving at a fair old lick though. Why is a man filming himself driving a 998cc Yaris anyway?

This is fucking superb news.

Fun Fact:

Wow, Wanky is still freaky as hell 9 years later!

FUCK this idea. There must be other ways to remain competitive than losing the complete MO of the car?

I watched this for like, 15 minutes expecting him to eventually make it out.

If only the kid’s dad had also been so eager to pull out.

They should make one with the hoverboard at the rear (for optimal RWD dynamics, natch) and the driver in a sort of ‘more-face-down’ superbike stance.

i was gonna post my Alfa 147 GTA for this reason! A tiny shopping car that feels completely special and exotic to drive. Brakes off a 360 Modena too!

Is Bottas wearing a bald-cap?