Too bad they didn't cast Faye dunaway.

I never realized how much I wanted/needed this in my life until RIGHT NOW.

I CANNOT WAIT FOR JESSICA LANGE TO JUST DESTROY THAT SCENERY!

Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford in “Mommy Dearest,” blew me away! She was better at being Crawford than Crawford was!!

Donald Trump loves kids. He’s going to be so good for kids. He’s got the best kids. and lots of them. And one in particular he wants to fuck. Sad!

I’d feel bad for the guy if it weren’t for everything.

If he is interested I’ll sell him the rights to the song I wrote titled “You ain’t ever gonna win a Stanley Cup or NBA Championship, motherfucker.”

I went to Seoul to visit a friend/fulfill a travel wish last month. I went to two cat cafes. I wish every city had one. It was the happiest I’ve been all year. I mean just look at this guy. LOOK AT HIM.

It is a little too late for the Hawks to start getting defensive about Game 2.

As a Boston scumbag, I look forward to smoking a pack of Parliaments and drunkenly pissing myself on that bench.

Superbad came out the week I graduated high school, so it holds a soft spot for me (half of my class went to see it after graduation practice and we were so inspired by the movie, we all went to someone’s house and got teenaged drunk on shitty beer at 5 pm on a Thursday. One of my favorite memories). Yeah, some parts…

Seth Woken

This is a very good point.

It’s SO MANY, I don’t know, I feel like we need to call a physician

I would think that many bananas would jam you up with the quickness. But maybe the excessive amount has the opposite effect?

We have been debating this all morning in the Jezebel chatroom and there is still no clear consensus on what banana-bowels are like

I feel like if you eat 51 bananas a day, your bowels are FAR from regular.

I’d hire you. Bring the cattle bolt pistol.

I know it’s a difficult decision, but I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I’ve decided to enter my name into consideration for coach of the Rockets.