So dark, so brilliant.

Instead of getting upset at the goaltending truthers, I need to take great joy in the fact that they’re the ones who are upset.

They would probably work a little more efficiently if they tried to relax first.

Agreed, I think that should be number 3.

I’d go as high as #2. Ray Allen in Game 6 gets the number one spot.

His back hand actually hits the rim pretty hard. It’s not goaltending, as some idiots are asserting (just read the rules; once he makes the initial block it’s fine) but he certainly makes contact.

When factoring in the situation, I’d say it was one of the top 5 greatest plays in basketball history, with number one going to Ray Allen in Game 6.

You’re a professional writer, Tom. It’s “complement”.

Dellavedova looks and dresses like a guy who won a Bud Light contest where the prize was that he gets to spend a night celebrating with the Cavaliers. Plays like it, too.

Damn, that’s a big room!

No no, you’re thinking of “asymmetrical warfare”.

12. Roll damn tide!

Okay, but we can confidently dismiss any slight possibility that YOU’RE right.

Next she’ll point out that he can’t throw the mouthguard AND catch the mouthguard.

“I dunno, I usually just hit whichever guy is closest.”

I think it just goes down as an unearned run. If you’re a shitty reliever, there will be plenty of other stats (opposing batting average, etc.) to show that.

No no, you got it all wrong.

Maybe Donald would have better luck getting an endorsement from Alex Smith.

Yeah, why on earth would you be”too embarrassed” to share that story? It’s a neat thing that happened, but it’s not like it’s some kind of life-changing revelation.

Kibbles n' Bitcoin.