Yes. Look up an athlete named “Bo Jackson” someday.

And you can only pick one, which might be the hardest part of this exercise.

It’s funny, it seems like every fellow dogwalker I meet is very eager to offer the opportunity to trade humblebrags that our dogs are rescues. It makes me feel kinda sleazy, like Royal Tenenbaum introducing his “adopted daughter” Margot.

A good, common sense rule: the smaller the place, the smaller the dog.

I haven’t been this excited about a competition since that church carnival two towns over hosted a truth-telling contest.

If price is no object, I’m going with something incredibly dense and non-reactive: gold. Five or six decent-size spheres and you’re done.

To be fair, that way *did* have the least traffic. There was only one other vehicle along the entire route!

He certainly didn’t drop the ball when the time came.

I never held anything against the kid, personally. I reserved my ire for the eyesight-that-makes-Roy-Orbison-look-like-Chuck-Yeager umpire that blew the call and the entire fucking city of NY that celebrated the actions of a kid who helped them cheat to win.

We wouldn’t have the tire fire, or the shiny bigfoot traps. It’s not the mayor’s fault that the stadium collapsed!

For those here who are fans of “The World’s End”, my friend Jack put together a modified soundtrack for the movie. I think it’s terrific, so I’m sharing it here: http://earbuds.popdose.com/feerick/Concep…

I’ll grant you a star for that one.

I hope he doesn’t break my record of striking out fifteen times in a row before reaching first base.

Wow, people here are really defensive about their affinity for eating brunch in restaurants. I'm with the author on this one, but my distaste for it stems from not wanting to wait. It's not so much waiting for my food that bugs me; it's having to mill around with the other two dozen hungover jerks outside the front…

Really just drives home the oft-repeated point that when something becomes more convenient, it usually becomes less secure.

Oh man. If I'm Shane Victorino I'm going to ask to sit out the Wrigley Field games this season. Cause this time...that won't be beer.

...who I am with in the moment is a higher priority then the one calling/texting/emailing me.

Or the first half score of a Knicks-Magic game.

“Come on, coach, put me in!”

I don’t understand the cops’ logic here. They tell him to leave six times, which he doesn’t do, so they tackle him and put him in cuffs and make him stay?