Oh man. If I'm Shane Victorino I'm going to ask to sit out the Wrigley Field games this season. Cause this time...that won't be beer.

...who I am with in the moment is a higher priority then the one calling/texting/emailing me.

Or the first half score of a Knicks-Magic game.

“Come on, coach, put me in!”

I don’t understand the cops’ logic here. They tell him to leave six times, which he doesn’t do, so they tackle him and put him in cuffs and make him stay?

Yeah, but he mentioned his premature kid. Twice, I think.

Also a fair representation of Drew’s reaction when a black person tries to talk to him on the subway.

Wow. I haven’t seen someone get roasted this badly since the last time Drew roasted anything.

I think you have to have a *close* relationship with your brother, not just a good one. My brother and I get along quite well, but I wouldn't have asked him to be my best man (we eloped) and I won't be the slightest bit bothered if he doesn't ask me to be his.

Not only was this an exciting game, but it was also educational: I never knew that badgers and zebras were natural enemies!

Apparently the bellhop was on vacation or something; I received absolutely no help with my baggage until a complete stranger shouldered the load for a bit.

“Let he among us who has not inappropriately touched another man’s genitals grab...heh heh, I mean CAST the first stones.”

What it says about me is that I will take the initiative to create a solution to a problem that is bothering me.

"Buy the Apple watch...you know it's tempting..."

Given how popular this plugin has become (and before you accuse me of wasting my time writing it, you should know that it’s like six lines of code), you tell me.

Why thank you. It’s very basic (and as such may be unreliable) but I’m happy to have helped.

That series irritated me so much I actually made a plugin to block it: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detai…

Can someone use this chart to explain to my wife - who makes enough to push us over the top of the middle class ON HER OWN - that we are not struggling financially?

That is a pretty swell idea.

In my dorm, "Easter beers" were cans of beer that had been painted like Easter eggs and (eventually) hidden at various places in the dorm courtyard. Sometimes during Easter beer hunts you'd find ones from previous years. One time the paint they bought was toxic so instead of drinking the beers we got a baseball bat…