“Thank you for calling DirecTV. Why, of course we can sign you up for NFL Sunday Ticket, although it sounds like you are looking for something slightly more... German. Now I just need a credit card, Mr. Matsui.”

“kicking a Patriots fan in the back of his leg”

“No wahn denies this!”

So close. +3 for the effort.

O, an he gon drank!

Aww shit. I was getting into Spurs last season as I watched more Prem. Now you tell me that they’re the EPL Jets? I'm already stuck with my stupid NFL Jets.

His cerebellum, on the other hand, is merely scrambled.

Apparently Billy's copy editor is the same person as Mario's twitter editor.

Mookie Wilson asked me to tell you: "+1"

Joe Thiessman: “Robert Griffin III Leaves Preseason Game With One Healthy Shoulder”

“It was clearly the right call at the time. I should have made a stronger play to the phone, but Elin followed her gut and jumped my route. Great hustle, really paid off for her.”

No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

Do you think United raise the stakes for Kane? Tot maybe lets him get one last home game in front of the fans.

His grammar is atrocious. That should read: “Are Joe Flacco a elite quarterback?”

Also applies to Chef Smith's Paleo Diet Plan. Curbs screw you up, so no eating Lendls or Paste.

It is nicely stitched together.

Alfred Blue may also have a groin injury? Couldn't they be more specific about the location?

+1

+1,000,000 for the l33t MS Paint skillz

This 1,000%. I don’t have to worry about my kids when we get out somewhere. Plus it was so much easier getting car seats in and out when they were smaller.