You sound fun.

I spent the entire World Cup final shouting about "Ze Germans" in my best Statham accent.

Vince Young escorts them to their table when they get to the Cheesecake Factory and gets them some crayons for Marc Davis.

Thanks. Um... can you call my wife and explain why I was googling 'bald soccer cunt'?

Given the headline, I was expecting Michael Bradley.

Have you seen the responses to Burneko's pillow list? Drew almost had an aneurysm.

"I'll take 'Things Heard On Calvary Hill' for $200, Alex."

"That'th a dethpickable thing to say." - Jerome Bogar

Thank you for not showing me a masturbating bear.

I know you heard 'football' and 'sack', but this story has nothing to do with Sam Bradford.

"What if her owner doesn't mind?"

Chris Andersen doesn't understand why no one will come to his sleepaway camp.

Very nice. We would have also accepted:

It would be cool if the defending champ got something more distinct for that entire following season. Maybe the whole uniform has images of the trophy, like the Marines do with their logo on MarPat.

Well, unless it's about HGH... or concussions... or Dan Snyder's snuff porn career.

Without Johnson's offensive contribution, Bill O'Brien should consider sticking with a pro-style defense instead of that scheme he brought over from Penn State. Cover Up-2 is unlikely to succeed as well in the NFL.

"Moichendizing!!"

Thank you. Jezebel wants to argue that she isn't funny or relevant, then stop giving her the publicity she is aiming for. Her greatest fear is to be ignored.

+2 scoop rice, bruddah

Hey Sepp? If you want some advice, I'm sure a calls to Prouts Neck, Maine will find you someone just gushing to handle this one for you.