John Candy's Mother Files Wrongful Death Lawsuit Against Chefs

How awesome would it be if his check call at the line was "Goonie goo-goo! 52's the Mike!"

Half, Eddie! HALF!!

Kareful your about to get stabed.

Bullshit. That made it all the way to the porch in the air.

You can set season records in exhibition games?

I literally spent several minutes wondering if Senile Jerruh was a DT prospect from Nigeria that I hadn't heard of.

Can we put one of these on Lena that sends out warning tweets whenever she gets within one kilometer of a keyboard?

Those shoes might as well have mouth-eyes, they're terrifying.

That's my parenting philosophy too: "What Would Eli Do?" It doesn't work as well in all aspects of marital life... I keep having to explain to my wife why I'm making passes at the wrong team.

"Let's see what we have here. Hmm, the examining nurse says it is 'Rectum: patient's own head'. Well, you do see that every now and then, especially in your profession. What's that? Oh yes, we can keep your name out of the database, Mr. Dolan."

"don't stay up late, you need your sleep; are you changing your bedsheets regularly?"

Well, apparently I have a shitty memory or I'm bad at noticing details about women (ask my wife which). I've seen a couple of articles that described Howard as closer to 5', so guess she is pretty short.

Can we let a wolverine loose in the Big House?

As a Jets fan, I think Brady was injury prone and had a poor work ethic. Always on the sideline in that damn chair.

Shitty beer with a lemony tang? They basically admitted that the workers pee in it before bottling. Cartoning?

Word. For fucks sake, Nacho has two of those, and he's so bad he got replaced by Geno Smith.

So..... Tuesday?

It's just pics he hates. He's OK with text-based social networking. Guests have even been encouraged to participate with a softly uttered "Yeah tweets, yeah tweets."

True enough. Just seems shorter though in this context when she was working and leading in an 85% male environment.