Mark Emmert: [Reads Deadspin post announcing Ramogi Huma livechat]

Here's a tip I won't give to TMZ: Get a better fucking comment system.

How far can you postpone a chat?

Punting challenges notwithstanding.

M.I.A. may have met her match in the NFL. The League has no problem doling out punishment, even for those with no history of multiple hits.

"Powerful Corporation, Dick Shaking" was actually Disney's tagline for the last couple of Rockin' New Year's Eves.

Goddamn Republicans. This show makes me want to shoot an elephant in the face.

And here I thought Eli Manning's QB rating was the most grotesque single digit of the day.

Is there seriously a need for two institutions of higher learning in the State of Oklahoma?

What was that all about, you ask?

I'm not sure that an MLS team in Atlanta would have much support, Barry.

Well, no. I would only want one of the two to be liquored up, naked, and on top of me.

"ALLAHU AKBEAR!"

You can go ahead and check your indignation at the door everybody. I have been stuffing socks full of wads for years and the NCAA has never investigated me.

Unfortunately, incidents of this ilk are typically in Lebanon.

How far can you punt a football? Asking for a friend. (He's an NFL GM.)
...
(He's laughing.)
...
(He's calling all his GM buddies.)
...
(They're laughing.)
...
(They're still laughing.)
...
(They're watching tapes of you punting a football and puking from laughing.)
...
(They're deciding which one is gonna call you and pretend to…

Q: What's black and white and read all over?

If they're going to follow a dead guy onto the field, I'd much rather it be Darren Rovell.

I thought they addressed the elephant in the room back in January?