I don't think you can do the oldest-to-newest anymore. PM's can be done via ca.deadspin.com, but I'm guessing most people don't check them.

Stop the presses! A Yuniesky Betancourt highlight!

Twitter DUAN

Because you can still profit from your product without being a douche. Do what YouTube, Hulu, et al. do - you allow embedding, but you play an ad before the video shows. You've instantly expanded your reach by who-knows-how-many viewers, harboring goodwill, and you're making even more money off it.

...you'd get not only the honor of seeing your child on a popular website frequented by many lonely adults who stare at penises...

Good lord. +1 candle in the wind.

That's like a racehorse winning by a nose, if that racehorse had been running for three hours at 156 mph.

So happy to hear that little Marino Fourteenandoh Phintastic has entered the world. Congrats!

Only the one box. But in my defense, Rachel McAdams IS hot.

Take it to Jezebel, lady!

Who could be that angry about Rhianna finally getting her revenge on Chris Brown?

The USC engineering school's race car team was immediately suspended.

Except all the high school games I've ever seen, they use it for the pitcher.

Other than every obscure rule in golf, two rules come to mind.

Because seeing this on my tumblr makes me happy:

Undacted, then.

Actually, I've been attaching a face with the carnage for months.

Ch-ch-ch-chia FUPA?

Damn this new generation of coat-hanger resistant fetuses. I blame high-fructose corn syrup.

Too slow on the link. But really, it was all Phintastic's inspiration.