Mostly, how to be a functional alcoholic. That and how to hit a 2-iron.

That's David Hyde Pierce, idiot.

+1 microwaved entree

The worst part about Von is that the Celtics had to trade five guys to get him.

Glabrous At the Palace

George Costanza at Mario's Pizza: Never Met Slippery Pete, Did Get High Score, Betrayed By Frogger

Tebow On GMA: Never Met A Vagina, Never Got Laid, Betrayed By Judas

Trio ist concerned.

@cobra: Haven't seen "Overcoming," but did just get to see "Chasing Legends" which he is interviewed quite a bit for... awesome documentary.

@Suckers: You may be drunk buddy, but believe it - a 14-reply cycling thread is the biggest thing going on DUAN. For shame, all of us, for shame.

I can't figure out Garmin-Cervelo for TdF... they have three premier sprinters (Hushovd, Tyler Farrar, and Heinrich Haussler), a GC'er who can never stay healthy/clean (Christian van de Velde), a solid TT'er (Dave Zabriskie), and then Hesjedal, who I guess will have to fight it out with van de Velde for the lead of…

Wait, I TIED for first? Fuck. I didn't even look at it. I was cooked after the first weekend and never looked at it again.

@cobra.la^6: Versus ran it tape-delayed tonight, but did 3 hours of coverage and it was with Phil and Dave, so it was good. As an American, I guess I can't hate on Garmin's success, although I am a huge Cancellara fan.

Just got done watching the Paris-Roubaix cycling race, and if you want to talk about upsets, forget the Masters today, this guy Johan Van Summeren came out of nowhere to win arguably the biggest one-day cycling race in the world. Best I can describe it would be like a 14 seed winning the NCAA tournament. AND, dude…

That raises an interesting point - is there a single starred woman on here?

So have them sit in a studio and commentate on the feed like ESPN used to do with soccer... I have to feel like they'd make more money off a 7a-11a block of cycling than hunting stuff they can show whenever. Instead we're getting two hours of heavily edited, tape-delayed racing that will be about 45 minutes of action,…

What is Versus' problem that they can't show it live? You know what's on their schedule tomorrow? Hunting and fishing shows until 1, then IndyCar racing. I know nobody watches cycling, but throw us a bone once outside the TdF...

The pinkos at least try. The Facebook commenters seem to be more of your standard "LOLZ THAT STORY IS FUNNY" and "TEAM X SUCKZ!" posts.

Ha. Fuck. I'm an idiot.

I guess this leaves Tsuyoshi Nishioka as the most broke player in the Indians organization.