Counterpoint: Raisinets are manna from heaven. Sweet chewy awesomeness and the single best thing in the movie theater candy case.

This is the most honest fight story I have ever read. 90% of fights that people “won” actually played out like this...

“I’ve found that most threats of violence that are yelled out of Volkswagen Jettas are unfounded.” 

First grade at recess a group of 4 or 5 boys were picking on another girl in my class. I marched up to the lead instigator and yelled “leave her alone” in his face. He proceeded to spin around and punch me, a tiny, tiny girl, square in the mouth, knocking out my front tooth. Never let anyone tell you that Canadians…

This is loooong...but stay with me....

In basic training in the army, I saved my ass by not getting into a fight. Don’t remember why, but one of the other recruits wanted to fight me. He was the kind of guy who had muscles on his muscles, and had to move his entire torso in order to move his head, because he gave no evidence of being equipped with a neck.

So are Trump’s hands as small as they say?

Well, last year some guy brushed by me on the street and called me a “fucking n-word”. After my aggressive diplomacy failed to convince him how unwise that was, I rocked him. After I let him get up he was able to throw some of his food on me, but the fucker still caught these hands.

consider yourself lucky Big Bird wasn’t there

He probably just had star power saved up. What a try hard.

Oh, Elmo was not fucking around. That’s just how things go in the Streets tho

I have no idea if this story is true or not, but I completely believe every bit of it because it’s true to me.

I’ve never been in an actual fight as I was always small and smart enough to know I’d get beat to shit.

My best friend and I dressed up as Burt and Ernie for halloween about 8 years ago. Went out and got pretty hammered at the bars, and then I see down the street, Cookie Monster, just standing there. Well I thought it was a good idea to jump on his back, we both fell to the ground, and that’s when I feel a shot to the…

I spent some time at a wonderful juvie facility when I was 16. When I got out, some local kids thought that I must be a tough SOB since I was in jail. I was happy to benefit from their misconception. It all was going swimmingly for me until one kid thought I was getting to alpha and challenged me to a fight by pushing…

Tie:

"in that relationship."

Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, I see things that aren't there. It's usually small things like seeing a shadow and thinking it's something it's not. Kinda like sleep walking, but I remember what's going on later on usually and if I turn on the lights, everything turns normal.

I was walking to my car to drive home after high school. For some reason, I was barefoot. I can't recall why exactly. But as I headed to my car I stepped in a huge pile of dog shit. It was gross, but without anything to wipe off the dog shit right at that moment I thought it could wait. I got in the car and began…

It happened in little league. I stole second base. Stole that fucker good too...made it there standing up. But we were playing on a field that was in one of those baseball complexes that housed like four fields right next to each other, so right as I get to second I hear the ping of a bat. Now, I'm not paying…