"You look tired" = "You look like shit"

It's actually crazy, because I have insanely long and curly eyelashes. When I do wear mascara, my eyelashes look uhMAHHHHzing and I often get asked if I'm wearing extensions or fakes (this is not a backdoor brag, it is a billboard in time square brag get fucking at me) but when I don't wear mascara I might as well…

I too suffer from blonde eyelash syndrome. I also have very fair, skin which ensures that the morning bags under my eyes are purple if I don't put on concealer. Add in ponytail and throw a knit cap over the whole thing so you can't see my hair, and people look generally concerned about whether I can make it to my…

My one co worker asks me if I got punched in the face every fucking morning because of my under eye circles.

This is a classic example of hearing "OH MY GOD ARE YOU ILL? YOU LOOK AWFUL" all day when you forget to put on eyeliner.

When I don't wear mascara people ask me if I'm dying of stage 4 cancer, so Uma, I feel yew heavy.

I LOVE IT, UMA, FOLLOW YOUR HEART, REJECT THE TYRANNY OF MASCARA.

Rebuttal: as stated already, lactose intolerance prevalence differs based on ethnicity. Using Asians or Africans to dictate the diets of Northern Europeans (who are largely NOT lactose intolerant) ignores the diversity of human evolution and cultural development. Natural selection shaming, Jezebel? Do you know no…

Would you interpret a dog humping your leg as an invitation to have sex with that dog?

If "she appeared to consent and didn't flee" were valid excuses, we wouldn't have statutory rape. But just like when a 30-year-old man has sex with a 15-year-old girl who says she wants it, we consider it to be wrong, to be rape, because they aren't on the same mental level. She's not mature enough for the law to be…

Hahahahaha. OMG. This is too fucking precious. You really can't help yourself, can you? Playing devil's advocate over goddamn dolphin fucking. 10/10, would laugh again.

Goodbye.

Additionally...

Ugh. On the one hand, there's no way that this guy is doing the "right" thing. But on the other hand, he's so clearly fucked in the head. I don't want anyone to think I'm making excuses for this behavior, but it's so obvious to me in so many cases that these folks are themselves screwed up by circumstances. It reminds…

NOW IS NOT THE TIME, KASH.

YUP

Just because the dolphin tolerated it due to being in heat doesn't mean it was consensual or that he's not completely and utterly disgusting beyond all ability to adequately express it.

Oh so it's fine for Helena Bonham Carter to get naked with a fish, but not for this guy to bone a dolphin? I see how it is!

LETS GET FISHICAL, FISHICAL