HOW ARE YOU 19? Jesus fuck. You don't come off as a teenager at all, and I absolutely mean that as a compliment because teenagers generally just annoy/frighten me at my advanced age.

My mother was working in a restaurant when she was 20, and she had previously warned the manager on numerous occasions about serious issues with the smoke hoods, and the air vent. The manager never did anything about it.

I know you're like 21 but if you wrote your memoirs right now I would read the everloving hell out of said book.

*plunks down for story time* I GOT SOUR GUMMY WORMS YALL.

Her twitter feed makes me want to punch her in the face.

Uhm, is that even a question?

Clearly, that school has nothing to offer me.

I almost used "shade" here, but I don't do that shit without consulting Kara, because Shade Court will not hesitate to try its own.

People like her should be muttering this stuff alone in a dirty, desert trailer park.

Should I talk about the time my mother accidentally burnt a restaurant down?

Yes I love her with all my heart for it, as I have been told I did the same stuff when I was a kid

My daughter did this, she would call for water and then when you brought her some she was hiding only to jump out and scare you

FSOG is so awful. The actors have no chemistry and the writing in the books was just awful. If you want good BDSM erotica, try the Sleeping Beauty trilogy by Anne Rice (written under the pen name A. N. Roquelaure), and if you want a good BDSM movie, there's always Secretary which came out before any of the FS books,…

You, sir/madame, are in contempt.

I want Christian Grey to be real so that I can throw him into a volcano. You can throw a book into a volcano but it isn't the same.

It's neutral because that's all the Anastasia is. Bland and neutral. Besides if she went out in red lipstick Christian would probably call her a whore and then stalk her even more to find out who she's seeing.

I have some serious, snooty side-eye for anyone who wants Christian Grey to be real, and I'm not sorry.

What is 50 Shades of Grey about this product? It's just.... neutral. How does makeup that is supposed to be "SEXSEXSEX" not have red lipstick and liquid liner at the very least?

If Christian Grey were real, he would probably be my ex boyfriend. My gas lighting, emotionally abusive, careless, self-centered, childish, riddled with anger and emotional problems, into kinky rough sex ex boyfriend. I only miss the sex.