Since the Virginia Tech guys were slow to pick this up, they are calling it the Hokie Pokey.

Finally, a young man who has read the chart!

Yep, and it’s such a throwaway for any time a woman dares to lay down expectations for a man. As in, since we are in a relationship, when I text you, I expect a response within a reasonable timeframe. Asshole guy’s response: geez, back up with your clingy shit—what, do you have daddy issues?!?

likely a reference to the 7-year, $153 million contract that lured Ellsbury to New York.

Husband: Um, can I tell people that our love burned too bright and too quickly? Kind of a Candle in the Wind deal?

Very, very well said. I just want to thank the guy and tell him that he (and his protege Colbert as well) had the amazing quality of not only doing everything you said, but also making you feel like you'd love to be friends with the guy. He just exudes kindness, decency, and integrity on top of epic talent.

Jon Stewart deserves serious props, no matter your choice of political party. He's gotten in more shots on republicans than I could ever count, but we (republicans) are better for it and it's sad to see him leave. He also created a way to do the news that for a younger generation is not just tolerable but widely…

I'd love for bill burr to yell the news at me every night. "Those ISIS cunts, GFY!"

To give some background here: Uzbekistan recently got eliminated from the Asian Cup by South Korea. Uzbekistan actually had a nice nil-nil tie going into extra time, and then gave up two goals. In the lead up to the match, Russian rags did some hot-takes of how the Uzbek team was much better and how they had a…

This girl seems like a pretty unbelievable catch.

Assuming he is taller than his wife, why didn't he switch seats with her?

That man sure can drop the Beats.

JETS RECEIVING COACH: I know on your old team they may have done things differently, but here on the Jets, we have something called the One Drop Rule.

As a Coloradoan I will NOT have Deadspin mock Cory Gardner. The man is a football hero, his wife Morgan Fairchild (who he's seen naked) is a delight and his children Taylor Swift and Webster are absolute angels.

But, Paul Ryan still ran a sub 3 hour marathon, right?

Maybe if the receivers had performed better Rodgers wouldn't have had to fake it.

Christian Ponder's receivers are never surprised when the ball flies straight into the ground 10 feet away from them.

Those Cardinals fans love dominant pitching, but will gladly settle for three Ks.

Well, they did have a grand Wizard at shortstop