Ok, not canonical, I know, but here is Joanna Lumley as the Doctor for Comic Relief. That sonic screwdriver has three settings:

Maybe...I wonder what it says after the "Jesus Gave" part.

Trying to read this. I think this is what it is says. Good luck figuring out what she means:

I love it when body-shamers take credit for other people's weigh losses, don't you?

I wish they were. *SIGH*

I am thinking that he just plain doesn't get it. I don't know how to make him understand it. These people invited themselves over and he said yes. I wasn't consulted. When I feel OK, it sounds tolerable. When my pain level spikes, it sounds like torture. When I expressed being unhappy/overwhelmed with it, he said I…

Definitely. I think this is one of the few places on the internet with some troll control. I've occasionally made the mistake of looking through CNN comments and even Alantic Wire comments, and ratio of trolls to people who actually have something to say is about 9 to 1. I made the mistake of engaging with a racist…

I kind of didn't... :(

I immediately got that you were being sarcastic, for what it's worth. It seemed fairly obvious to me.

I realize it is no longer Saturday night (it's 6:40 AM on Sunday and yet I'm up!). Social protocol question for you: I am in some crazy ass chronic pain and we are going to have houseguests in a few weeks. I'm pretty much either in pain, drugged out of my mind and in slightly less pain, or so drugged I'm asleep.…

I love the dismiss button. It stopped me from responding to a racist today. (I know that has nothing to do with this article, but I really needed to share with someone how much I love the dismiss button. I need a banner across my computer screen that just says, "Don't respond to racists!" over and over again).

My husband's approach is funnier. If an old man of his race is giving us a good, long, slow, shocked-and-stunned stare down, he just says, "He's just had his mind blown because nobody ever told him this was an option."

I'm with everyone on the internet in saying that this ad is good thing, but I'm not sure why this SPECIFIC ad is considered so important, other than that people got mad about it. I mean, I notice when mixed families appear on ads (it makes me included) and lately I've noticed more of ads including mixed families. I'm…

When we get stared at in public, depending on the type of stare (intensity, duration, facial expression that comes with it), I often like to pretend that is the case. I just tell myself, "oh, maybe she's in the club," or "maybe one of his kids is in a mixed race marriage." Thanks for confirming that I'm not deluding…

Actual question: I was watching some BBC murder-mystery thing on Netflix and it featured a pregnant detective. Her neighbor was always coming over with wine and they showed the character on screen drinking wine all the time. Nobody said anything. Is there less stigma about pregnancy and wine drinking in the UK?

You get the shovel and I'll corner the opossum! I'm going to have to spend the rest of the day digging up cattails and washing and grinding the roots, but we'll have a fine casserole come suppertime.

I was gonna say the same thing re: Crayola and Elmer's glue, and I really have no stake in this whole fight.

Yeah, definitely did not mean that for actual celiacs; they tend to be knowledgable about what they actually can and cannot eat. It's more, as you said, the Paltrow club and the, "well, I read this one thing on the internet one time so I'm never eating wheat again! I'm totally gluten-free, so I'm gonna go eat other…

Most of the people I know who would go on a scree about GMO foods won't eat seitan (not matter how organic) because they firmly believe that wheat gluten is evil and poisonous. Therefore, they eat wheat relatives like spelt that still contain gluten, but go around calling themselves gluten-free.

I think I'm officially incapable of sending messages on here. I am sure it's simple. I need Kinja 101.