Put a dancing hula girl on the dashboard. It’s amazing how it transforms a Benz CLS.

I’m kind of embarrassed, I’ve had 5 and my wife has had one, the only one I hated or ever had issues with was hers. I ragged the life out of mine every day I drove them, no gear changes until the red line, hard acceleration, hard braking, hard cornering, I drove them all hard and fast. The wife’s rebadged FIAT broke…

Wait what? There’s some car nut that does not know this?

Instructions unclear, accidentally poked myself in the eye.

I drive their other 4 door coupe, the CLS. Seriously, it’s not a coupe and no one at Mercedes can tell me why it is called and described as one.

2013 Alfa Romeo what a P.O.S. I had it for 3 years and hated nearly every minute of it even when I wasn’t in it. I had 5 Alfas in the 80s, and loved them all but this one sucked like an Electrolux.

Imitation shark-fin aerials.

Don’t put your dick in crazy.

They used to put peeled fresh ginger up horse’s butts to get them to run faster when racing.

Needs more Jason Stham dancing to Eurobeat

Jason Statham dancing to Eurobeat

Drunk friend coming in for a landing in a Piper Navajo when he forgot to drop the wheels. Tit.

Banging “Isobel” in my Ford Cortina at drive-in and someone trying to sell me drinks while in mid-thrust.

It’s a swan, but yeah, I’m with you on that one.

Yes. Yes he is.

I have a knot in my left ear ear cable so I can find it in the dark.

Installed with 2 clicks onto Chrome browser running on a Mac

Alfasud Sprint Veloce. Loved that car, the performance and the handling.

‘tis true, I has a 56 and a 159, both fine cars.

No. No it has not. They made some great fwd cars, the Alfa Suds, i’ve had a couple over the decades, but this.. this should never have been fwd. what were they thinking about.