I thought I was reading Andy Zaltzman, but then I realized this wasn't a cricket post.

That'll do pig, that'll do.

You know how people sometimes complain about looping GIFs? This wouldn't be one of those times people would complain.

Sad, but true.

"But like I said on FB...."

I live in Spain, and have slowly gained an assembly of people willing to stay up late to watch a game they like but don't understand. People take off work to stay up and watch something that stops all the time and has esoteric rules.

Yeah, I feel like that would be helpful.

I just left the Bernabeau. I wouldn't go so far to say we'd be alright just because of today. Benzema had a great day, sure, but we looked pretty sloppy a lot of the match. But yeah, it was an awesome goal.

I don't care why he does it. If you didn't infer that from my post, you're retarded. For sure.

Neither you nor I know why he does or doesn't do what he does. But, what I do know is that there is a difference between 100 cameras in your face with people asking if you're excited for the Super Bowl and having three cameras filming you play video games with a professional colleague and a person whose job involves…

If you read his comment and your court thought was, I need to tell him Super Bowl is two words, lest people consider the author of the hundred-starred comment an idiot, well, you might be an idiot.

As someone who ostensibly "grew up" in Utah but has lived more of his life in Spain than anywhere else: ¡me cago en la puta! Connecticut for Spanish food??? Did Adriá wipe his ass on some silver New Canaan once at a private party and some douche hear about it?

"It was Jones that made it an unnecessary distraction and attention grab. And it will be Jones who'll have to live this one down."

Also, add "agency" to the list of things you don't understand.

Add empathize to the list of things you are incapable of doing.

Did you sell your shift key?

You: Looks like somebody's got a case of the muuuhndaaays.

You know what they say: Crazy in the head, crazy in never closing a gaping spread.

My books are in English, bought in the US. But I can't download the app because I live in Spain.

Not available in my country (Spain), sigh.