There is a line, somewhere, and though I'm not sure where it is, I know when it's crossed. I was at dinner the other evening at a sushi place and the woman behind me told the waiter, "I don't want any seafood. What do you have that doesn't have any seafood in it?" Here's the thing: you're in A FUCKING SUSHI…

Look, it's very easy to sit back and criticize someone like this.

This is going to sound weird and hopefully not vaguely racist, but a huge, huge thing about Wonder Woman is the hair. She has long, curly, Greek hair.

Please—you know I'm always Carlos to you.

Then you're probably fine.

Just sit with your knees shoulder-width apart, dude. I do that all the time, and I have a GIGANTIC penis.

Yes it is. Gawker posted on it a while back.

Oooooooh yeah. Also the people with their goddamn shopping bags. I will totally sit on your brand new Barneys whateverthefuck, lady.

Reality check: women do this, too. I tried to gently squeeze in next to a woman who was taking up two spacious seats with nothing but attitude, and she went off on my about how "it's a privilege to sit next to me." So, y'know. Assholery knows no gender.

You know what also really helped her career, though, was marrying Les Moonves, the head of CBS.

I dunno, kind of better than waiting in line to meet Paris Hilton, right?

#6 makes my blood boil. "I can write you a shit-load of tickets!" Yeah, go nuts, officer.

Uh, that is amazingly perfect.

Counterpoint: it's because HE'S POPULAR AND EXPLICIT ABOUT HIS OPINION. He only controls one of those things and he used that control to stand up for gay people.

Yes, good, it's important to run down people who are advocating for your position because they don't have the requisite street cred, even when they have the requisite street cred, like Mary Lambert, who co-wrote and sang the parts of this song that aren't about Macklemore's personal experiences.

Oh, good, it's Captain Counterfactual, ruler of all parallel universes.

Good job, indeed. Two things:

Honestly, I like the idea of one of these precious-poppet Disney Stars growing the fuck up right in public and demanding to be looked at as a sexual object and challenging anybody who acts like entertainment culture starts sexualizing women at 18. Oh, you're disturbed by seeing your precious little princess rub…

All of this, but especially graf 1.

Actually, I think there a great, great many books about surviving abuse that address crimes that never went to trial. It's a whole subgenre of the self-help book.