You’ve never been sick and had poop that either floated, or piled high enough to break the surface? I commend you on your health.

Standard? I’ve never been told to do that, nor have I ever heard anyone else do that. I’ve never been in a public restroom and heard people do multiple flushes.

No, you’re reaching into the toilet, without being able to see, and hoping you don’t end up splashing around.

It has nothing to do with how thick my hands are but how high my poop sometimes gets. And it’s probably more paranoia than anything else, but why even risk it? Standing up removes any chance of accidentally touching something in a filthy toilet bowl. I mean, I can’t see what’s going on down there if I’m still sitting,…

No, I now know where your hands have been.

You reach into a toilet and you think standing to wipe is disgusting?

Bah, shitting blood isn’t that unusual, at least for me. Of course, my gall bladder’s been removed, before that it wasn’t working correctly, every bug I get is expressed through my bowels, and I’m forced to spend more time in a bathroom than I’d really like to. Every now and then, when I’ve got a stomach bug, I’m just…

Wait, you stick your hand down into the toilet you just shit in to wipe? What if it made a pile higher than you expect? Or, especially if it’s an unfamiliar toilet, the top is closer to the water than you’re expecting?

To me, the question came down to their defense. They’d been doing well for the first three quarters, but the defense in the 4th was horrible. You could tell they were winded and banged up. They were missing reads and getting burned. I didn’t trust the defense to make a stop at that point. But I figured Rodgers had a…

I live in Wisconsin, so I know what I’m talking about when I talk about driving in snow. (Of course, it seems that every year/snow storm, the other drivers in Wisconsin forget that they’ve done this many times, and panic, again.)

My wife and I have separate bank accounts, the ones we both came into the relationship with, but we both have access to both of them. My wife actually keeps insisting that we just put everything together in one bank, but both of us prefer our current banking institutions. I like the local credit union because it feels…

If the only reason you dance close with a girl is to rub your erection on her, then I feel sorry for the girls you’ve danced with.

Slow dancing is great, it’s the up-tempo stuff I hate. I’m a drummer, so I have rhythm, it’s just, I don’t know what to do with my arms and legs and hands and things. ;-)

Wait, are there still people who don’t know about fried cheese curds?

That’s ok, I only went to two dances. I went to a middle school dance where my friends and I played pinball the whole time, and I went to Homecoming with my girlfriend as a Sophomore. We broke up later that year, so I never went to another dance. I was too shy to ask anyone and going alone just seemed lame.

Hey, that’s an awesome name. It’s like the Jumbo Shrimp; it’s an oxymoron worthy of praise.

I guess there are a lot of factors to consider, such as bulkiness of clothing, how close the two of you are, and the, ah, endowment. But in the configuration you outlined (pointing upward) the most sensitive part is being rubbed, so the guy is definitely aware of it, even above and beyond the fact that a guy’s…

I don’t know about other guys, but I always make sure mine is like this when something causes it to stiffen. It’s more comfortable than straining against the front of my pants.

I own exactly 5 pairs of footwear:

I’m also a Packers fan, but if you open the door to “all sports” you have to give it to the East Tennessee State Buccaneers. A land-locked state with a pirate mascot...WTF?