And for the rebuttal:

Nah, get the in-laws there to help your bed-ridden wife. For one thing, most guys aren’t getting paternity leave, especially not before the baby, so someone’s going to need to be there during the day anyway. Even with in-laws there after the baby, you’re not leaving for a weekend and getting out of your share of 2 am…

There are two options, take the trip before the baby is born or after the baby is born, within a two month window, or so. Going before the baby is absolutely the better of the two option, though neither of these is a good option. If your wife is panicking at every little burp and fart, there’s another issue at hand.…

There is a difference between absolute time and subjective time. Soccer may take less absolute time, but it feels like it takes forever, and in the end, you’ve got a 1-0 score. A lot of action for very little result.

Maybe you said stupid shit on long-obsolete bulletin boards because you were an idiot teenager who wasn’t taught how to behave semi-coherently on internet message boards.

I think a blog/internet comment class is an awesome idea. If it leads to fewer trolls, idiots and flamers, I’m all for it.

You could, but who would want to? The best thing about soccer coming on the TV is that it automatically removes one channel from my list of options, potentially leading to me actually getting off my ass to do something else.

You know what happens when you have to sneeze, but then it goes away and your nose throws a quiet little temper tantrum? Well, imagine it’s a “throwgasm” just disappearing in the middle of “gasming” and you know how Drew’s feeling about the Bears game.

Berman put a lot of his money into ESPN when it was first starting and basically owns half of it, there is no way anyone at ESPN is allowed to ever tell him “No.”

The 14 year old is already our baby-sitter...or at least she has been, she hasn’t responded to our last couple requests. But to be honest, paying for a babysitter when both my mother and my wif’es mother are willing and able to watch her seems a little unnecessary.

Spiders...but yeah. I keep defusing the bomb. We’re in a good spot.

Nah, everyone on the block already knows I don’t drink. I’d rather just say that than have to put up with a charade. The Malibu and Coke is for when we’re out somewhere, like a comedy club with a drink minimum or a holiday party with a bar or something. Most of the time, I still just order a soda, but sometimes soda…

Not in Wisconsin. Here, someone not drinking is someone who isn’t social, or is “different” and thus to be tolerated but not sought.

Yeah, we definitely see it happening. The family across the street sold their house about a year, maybe two, after we moved in. The new couple there adopted a baby about a year ago. Down at the end of the street closest to us, a family moved out and a new family has moved in, they don’t seem to have any kids, and I’m…

Boys can be mean, too, but its often much more overt. They fight or make comments to the “out” boy’s face. It can hurt just as much, but when you find out that someone you thought was your friend was badmouthing you behind your back for the entire school year, that can really mess with your confidence and worldview.…

Yeah, we live in Wisconsin. Holding a beer in your hand as you do anything is pretty much required. I don’t like the taste of anything with alcohol, I can drink somethings if they’re a mixed drink with very little alcohol in them (girly drinks, in other words) but I really just don’t see the point. I’d rather knock…

For one thing, I said I’m pretty happy there and tell my wife that whenever she brings up moving.

Yeah, girls are the weirdest, and can be downright cruel to other girls.

I agree. The girls in our neighborhood are sort of the same. They used to come climb the tree in our front yard, but my wife was worried about liability if they fell and got hurt, so I casually mentioned it to their mother. They stopped climbing.

1) You and your wife should be able to communicate effectively without anyone’s feelings getting hurt.