The fact that he got paid his entire salary last year to sit at home while serving a year long suspension for beating the fuck out of a little kid, and then wanted MORE money, is what made me side with the Vikings. Not anything his agent said.

Kinda funny how a man gets tortured for an entire season, culminating with his cock getting cut off, and nobody bats an eye. A woman gets raped in a scene in which NOTHING is shown, only implied, and everyone loses their shit.

He is free to save his body and get into a career path that is less dangerous.

Zach LaVine is a professional basketball player, and each of his Dunk Contest dunks were better than this one.

Can’t we implement some kind of Express Death system for cases like this? Save everyone a lot of time and money by just dusting this scumbag in a back room about 30 minutes after the verdict is read?

I bet attendance at these Color Event runs would plummet if cell phones were prohibited. Seems like the only reason people go to these things is so they can take selfies to upload to Facebook and Twitter, or use on their OKCupid profile.

Oh boy, I can’t wait to roam around another brown, bombed out, ugly-as-sin post apocalyptic open world. My enthusiasm is at a fever pitch for this groundbreaking, innovative concept.

Giant men beating women is the best thing to ever happen to Deadspin’s hit counter.

I’ll just drink A&W instead of this poison.

This story just confirmed something that I had been suspecting for a decade now: comic books are still really stupid.

Holy shit, fast food isn’t great for me? Thanks for uncovering this deeply buried secret, Deadspin.

#4 Jeff Green takes 5 steps before putting the ball on the floor. Easy to dunk in the NBA when you don’t have to worry about dribbling.

Gawker must have someone on their staff, full time, who does nothing but track down blackface stories. Nothing like a bunch of white people being offended by blackface.

My sympathies for this serial rapist.

$99 could pay my internet bill for a month and a half, which is fitting because I, like probably hundreds of thousands of others, will just stream this online for free.

I'll wait a week until they patch this firmware. Don't want a bricked system.

Always funny to see grown men complain about something that's meant for teenage girls.

If you ever call a black man "athletic", you're a racist. Because Deadspin says so.

Nope, definitely goaltending. Shot would have hit the rim if the SMU dude hadn't touched it. Therefore, you don't know if UCLA could have grabbed the rebound and put up another shot attempt. The SMU defender altered the entire possession in his teams favor.

So, is there ANYTHING that Deadspin doesn't think is actually terrible and awful and the biggest fraud in sports? Anything?