It's because the justice system is racist and only ever throws white people in jail, duh!

Meanwhile, Hindu people are throwing a shit fit over socks. SOCKS!

Oh religion, you so crazy!

You're like the idiot friend in a movie, who does nothing but stand in the background and exclaim "Oh no you didn't!" or "That's gotta hurt!" Congratulations, you are useless and irrelevant.

Why don't we just have entire towns or states where people can live in a constant, 24/7 drunken haze? Oh wait, nevermind...

I thought only rich, white people avoid jail time?

I am 20 hours into Y's, and I've collected maybe 20% of all of the weapons, and still haven't met 3 other playable characters. What do you want, a 90 hour game?

It's a tech demo with some really cute art and catchy music. That's all it is. The platforming stuff is so minimal and basic, it doesn't even feel like a real game.

Cutler was probably dropped after he got hurt and it looked like McCown was going to start for the rest of the year. Ryan only has 22 TD passes and his value plummeted once Julio got hurt. Same thing for Luck when Reggie Wayne went down.

Says someone who probably can't wait to play The Walking Dead Season 2.

As someone who has done football play by play on the radio for 3 years now, sometimes you cannot help but use cliches, because more often than not, they are true.

Oh, and there should be absolutely zero factual errors from these guys. They have spotters, stat guys, and usually a monitor they can use while calling the…

Oh, so your mom saw a fat wallet and a working penis, so she decided to go after it? That's true love.

No, that's just a regular cat with a similar color.

So, you disagree with me that there are more talented female actor/comedians than Rebel Wilson? And disagree that the only roles they get are for "the fat one" in TV shows or movies? Do you honestly think Melissa McCarthy would have gotten her breakout role in Bridesmaids if she looked like Tina Fey? No.

Oh, but you…

Step 1: Keep fooling yourself into thinking the game is more than just glorified quick time events.

My girlfriend has an IUD, so I don't have to worry about it. But I would never, EVER use the pull out method as my only means of birth control. There have been times when I'll accidentally slide out while almost there, and the only thing I can think of is "shit shit shit, put it back in before it explodes…

Being afraid of IUD's is like being afraid of flying. The stats say you shouldn't, but people are just irrational.

I hope your partner enjoys being a daddy within the next couple years.

Pulling out? What am I supposed to do, cum all over the sheets? You know how expensive it is to do laundry these days?

Yasiel Puig didn't even win Rookie of the Year. Zach Randolph? No.

I feel perfectly fine knowing that dead geese keep me warm at night.