The day that I can read the news without having to come across the name Donald Trump will be one of the happiest days of my life.

Building on that: many oaths are blasphemies or use-of-sacred-terms-in-profane-context from whatever faiths were around when you were growing up. It’s one reason you get weirdnesses like Quebec French profanity, where strong language literally translates as things like “sacrament” or “tabernacle.” (Leading to great…

Both. I’ve been known to throw out a good “thank god” when a parking space open up. It’s about as religiously charged as when I bless someone when they sneeze.

God is hard to replace in my vocab and I’ve tried to come up with ways to convey myelf without it. You come across as an idiot when you’re clearly replacing it in a statement. Goodness sounds goody two shoes, Dog you’re being a juvenile pseudo anarchist, Fuck doesn’t express it correctly, Spaghetti Monster is cute but…

The sound of the baby’s heart eventually breaks the moment of silence and Zoey says, “Thank you, God,” which could be an instinctual reaction from her—she could still be questioning her beliefs.

Whereas Hillary could not only name every single sitting world leader, she could tell you what they had for breakfast, the name of their first pet, and what color underwear they’re wearing right now.*

I’m so ridiculously thankful to have attended college before social media existed.

Exactly! I ended it by saying, “That’s great you only think of yourself, guess you have nothing to lose. You might be upset when they cut down the woods you’re hiding in and you have nowhere else to bury your head in the sand”

I am a young lady lawyer, and I get this bullshit a lot (see here, though usually the examples are less egregious). My boss, bless his feminist heart, has always had a defense or retort on my behalf when that shit is said in his presence (when complimented on my looks, he’ll say, “She’s a pretty good lawyer, too, Bob,”…

Thank you for respecting Ser Gregor Clegane’s feelings.

My husband and I have been a couple since 1998. There are days when we annoy the Hell out of each other, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We work well as a team. My only advice: find hobbies you can partake in together, and find hobbies you can partake in on your own.

“Dov Charney” sounds like an Expanded Universe Star Wars villain.

“I scoured everything I could possibly find about why vaccines might be harmful. I became pretty convinced.”

I think Heidi straps one on and makes him call her “Madam President.”

Ok, 14 days in solitary confinement (which has been proven to make inmates suicidal) to punish an inmate for a suicide attempt. Makes sense.

Thank you thank you thank you. These and the image used in the article are really improving my life at the moment. Keep it comin if you’ve got more.

Nah.

Better than my passport photo. I look like a homicidal maniac from the photo taken in a fluorescent CVS.

I used to work news camera for a local TV station meaning we covered a lot of car wrecks and you wouldn’t believe the number of people who decided to go out driving after a beer or twelve who had a CHOOSE LIFE bumper sticker or similar on their car. I tried to frame it well when I edited the news later.

Douchesatchel