Thank you. Get your own damn soda!

Sharing a soda? People in couples are so bizarre.

Tampa was a really good novel, but also one where people judged you for reading it. I think it was a great portrayal of a sociopath with no self-awareness and an answer to all the people who think female teachers preying on adolescents is a fantasy come true instead of evil.

My girlfriend has been able to produce a baby bump on command since she was a kid, apparently, and she does it all the time, cradling it and looking at me like, “How can you be a father to our child?” And it kills me every time.

TONI COLLETTE IS A TREASURE! EDUCATE YOURSELF.

she is the most beautiful woman of all time

That is the wonderful Toni Collette, not just some lady. ;)

No, that’s how it works in England but not how it works in France. The father (and, after his death, the eldest son) as the holder of the title would call himself, say, “Pierre, comte de X.” However, any other children would be able to socially call themselves “comte(sse) [First Name] de X.” The issue with Henrik’s…

Yeah, at this point he’s been pouting so long I’m surprised he hasn’t been told to fish or cut bait either by the queen or the people who have to witness this sulking.

Maybe she’s just like “If you don’t like it, file for divorce” knowing he never will because he likes being at least some kind of royal. It’s just powerplays and impotence all the way down.

It’s hilarious but I would have gotten rid of his whiny ass a long time ago if he was my husband.

His family isn’t even real French nobility, just some people with some money and their name styled with a “courtesy title”. The whiny little turd should count his blessings: he could’ve been sitting on a regular shitter, sleeping between sheets with a peasant-level thread count, and eating from ordinary utensils, for…

Lord Darnley, the second husband of Mary Queen of Scots was epically butthurt that she wouldn’t grant him the Crown Matrimonial. This would have given him equal power with her and meant he got to keep the throne if he outlived her. As she also had a strong claim to the English throne, this was a big deal. …

He did, a long time ago, I think. Liz put her foot down firmly (as she does).

They will be Queen Consorts, not Queen Reagent, like Elizabeth II is.

It’s the same thing. He just thinks that since he has a really minor French title he should have reigned over Denmark and his wife.

Damn how entitled do you have to be to be butthurt about not being a KING? Bitch, do you know how kings are made? Not by being a whiny lil jerk, I’ll tell you that much...

We should also ban “I caught a fish” selfies, but the tiger selfies are more pressing.

See, this is the kind of thing they should really be using with the technology they have on Westworld. I would hella pay to have artificially domesticated large cat and other animals I could play with.

Don’t do it unless it’s night. Otherwise you are such a jerk. There is not enough room, and people have tray tables so I have to catch my drink as my laptop flips closed b/c you want to bang into my knees and lay in my lap...