How dare you! That photoshop is an outrage. Butthead does not deserve to have his t-shirt artificially defaced like that!

And, you know, five small children at the house...

Yeah, Blue Star is where you want to go for good donuts in Portland (although the maple bacon and voodoo-doll donut at Voodoo are pretty decent). If you want the best sweets go to Salt & Straw. Spectacular ice cream.

How about “Aqua-Man of North Korea”?! Can he speak to the parasites infesting his body?

How many icy lanes of traffic should she have crossed on foot to get over that divider?

What exactly do you imagine she could have done to avoid being hit by the Semi?

Well, that is exactly what the cops did during the Rodney King riots, I think that turned out ok. Pretty much the same amount of mayhem as the Philly Super Bowl celebration.

You do know that gentrification =/= “white people”, right? These guys came from a barely middle-class family and lived on bread and milk (and handouts from Kenyan pro runners) until they earned enough money running to support themselves.

Hurry, chuck a battery at him for his sins!

These are Philly white fathers. They probably hang around and teach this kind of stuff.

And Philly fans. It was like watching Pol Pot defeat Adolph Hitler in a boxing match. Yay? I guess...

So, if you build a factory in the US, you hate Mexicans?

Never mind that Gronkowski is basically white LeBron. And by “white LeBron” I mean “Frankenstein.” Or that Danny Woodhead ran a 4.3-second 40. If they’re white athletes, they’re succeeding because of their smarts and their character.

Would there be any form of transportation easier to automate than Rail? It is crazy that this has not already been done.

+1 for a meteor strike.

I hate how these Millennials don’t have the ability to recognize a tongue-in-cheek articles that (quasi)subtly mock articles that lump Millennials into one cohesive unit!

No, they leave the child with the birth mom JUST long enough for the kid to get permanently fucked up (reactive attachment disorder, etc.) THEN they put the kid into the foster care system.

Or all dudes, the person that followed her into the girl’s bathroom may not have been a dude.

No kidding! Because assuming the people that did this were White (maybe I am wrong and you assumed they were South Asian) is not racist at all!

Why would you watch ANY state of the union address. Have you ever learned something new from one? Has a President ever revealed some new and grand plan he is going to implement at one?