Great. As if there weren't enough heels in professional wrestling already.

IT'S "THE MAIN EVENT", NOT "THE MAIN STEVENT"!!!

"Happy Birthday Tim!"

I really hope Drew was making an empty threat about no longer covering TMQ this season, because today's entry is HOF-worthy in so many ways. Greggg managed to cover Johnny Football and Jesus, current casting on Blue Bloods, as well as Star Trek's take on gender-bending / gay marriage in only 60k words.

If you're so worried about a dangerous shithole, why don't you just wear two pairs of pants?

This is very good but I would like to correct one inaccuracy. Most agreements of sale and conveyance state that they are for Ten and No/100 Dollars and Other Valuable Consideration but this does not literally mean that the consideration was $10.00. In other words it is a legal boiler plate to reflect that there was…

You want thirst for the game? The entire Blue Jays pitching staff spends their off days at Blue Jays games.

Ok, I'm normally the "OMG, someone was snarky about weight, BURN THEM" type of person (having had bariatric surgery myself), but I don't know that we can really judge by a sibling relationship. Siblings are complete assholes to each other. That said, it wouldn't surprise me to find out JR was a dick, but we don't…

Vanderbilt will now take the field at homecoming in jerseys that say COMPELLING, UNSETTLING and UNLAWFUL PHOTOGRAPHY.

Anyone wanna bet this guy's too pussy to answer me?

How far can you punt a football?

Besides, if you were to compare a college football player to Rosa Parks, the obvious pick would be Eric LeGrand. That dude gets to sit wherever the hell he wants.

In terms of former Browns, this is easily the most incoherent thing said since Sammy Sosa last spoke.

This isn't that uncommon— I hear that Mark Sanchez playfully calls some of his black teammates "n——-r," and they call him "terrible."

I suffered from "Low T", or let's be honest "No T" as a result of radiation therapy. It doesn't just make you "get the sads in your Johnson...lose interest in birthday cake and long road trips with their wives". It had profound physical effects which eventually got me to the endocrinologist's office and serious…

Be warned, this story is very British.

Her race ended in tears.

Just to be clear, you just trolled an 11-year-old boy...from a burner account...on a Saturday.

Interestingly enough for us history buffs out there, Thomson's grandfather, Bill was stationed on the USS Slater in the North Atlantic and was the semaphore operator who sent the famous message "U-boats in area, banana butt head monkeywrench torpedo underpants" that ended Germany's harassment of Allied shipping.