Olivia Munn, that’s why I’m defending her.

I thought it meant to slither around and make snake sounds. I didn’t think it was strange that security was patting me down after that.

I’m so tired. I’m just so fucking tired.

I have hundreds of open tabs on all my computers, scattered across multiple Chrome windows. Last night, I discovered what happens when you get to 100 tabs in Chrome on Android, the little counter turns into a :D

You know when a mug of herbal tea is especially good? On a nice, beautiful, crisp fall day.

Small quibble — the Buckets weren’t American. Charlie bought his Wonka bar because he found 50 pence in the snow (children’s librarian here).

Dear fragile sensitive men,

That works, though I’m from the “A little from column A...” school.

Well I mean, it could also be a Chess board.

1) Check their profile image. A checkerboard is an easy first sign it’s a burner troll.

I’m from NY, so a simple ‘yo’ works for a single person, as in “Ay Yo!”. and for a group, it’s you’s as in “Where you’s all goin’?” With this accent most o’ yous think I’m an idiot, but fuckem.

I’ve changed from “guys” to “folks” in the past few years. Makes me sound old-timey but feels more inclusive. I also once got called out for saying “panties in a bunch” in the office ages ago but no one’s complained about “briefs in a bunch” since.

Amongst the features of regular door locks are such diverse elements as: Keep thing from getting in, from getting out, locksport, retro nostalgia, less chance of technical failure, no need for power, and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope.

me in the mirror: You’re an ok lookin dude

“many cultures find the idea of handkerchiefs repulsive”

“I’d do anything... *anything*... to pass this course.”

Due to some people I’ve known with heavy accents I can never read “sheet cake” as anything but one of them telling me the cake is awful.

There’s a bunch of stupid white people, I’m just telling you, that are stupid, and are telling people that God is into this.

Y’know, I am willing to bet that there are charismatic, handsome fat dudes out there who are absolutely killing it. But three years ago, when I slept around a lot, I never once had sex with a fat dude.