I went to law school, and I’ve heard some absolutely absurd arguments in my time, but holy crap on a cracker, this takes the cake.

Yes, it was absolutely an issue with yet another cop and an itchy trigger fingers. Neither I nor anyone else is challenging that.

To be fair, officers carrying guns is routine in most of Europe, Canada and Australia. And somehow there aren’t nearly as many incidents of police shooting innocent civilians as we see in the U.S.

People have such irrational fear and disgust for snakes.

How about maybe.....you know.....don’t use Uber?

It is common practice for cab drivers to record *for their own safety*. NO passenger expect both them and THEIR LOCATION to be shown in real time on the Internet. Don’t you get it? This guy posted drunk women and where they were real time in a god damn creep channel. Furthermore, he made it a whole lot harder for…

That was me. I moved it. If you ever used the ouija board with me, I was jerking the oracle around slowly from letter to letter because your slumber party was annoying and that game was boring and I liked watching you freak out.

So much Kardashian hate, particular the brand that comes in the same breath as the words “sex tape” strikes me as being deeply misogynistic, yes, even from women.

People eat oysters in the summer? I’ve always followed the “months with R in it” rule for fresh oysters.

There is virtually nothing you eat that does not carry a risk of infection. This is the worst kind of scaremongering, and you should be ashamed of yourself. What’s more, it’s the worst kind of writing to equate the “briny” taste of oysters with the assumption that it has been harvested from “brackish” water. Brackish…

Okay, well. Since digital media analytics is what I do for a living, I guess it’s time to wade in here. Shareablee counts only social media engagements, meaning clicks and likes and such (meaning it doesn’t matter how bad your ratios are). I just pulled up the numbers in comScore and, wow, it is even sadder than…

according to Comscore, nobody. fun fact: more people [‘unique visitors’] read Timothy Burke over the months of March and April 2018 than read all of barstoolsports.com, according to Comscore. 

I am not raunchy, but I am inappropriate at times

So the problem is that his idea and contribution WAS a waste of time - worse, after the fact where hindsight is 20/20, he CONTINUED to talk shit and called a guy who risked his own neck to, you know, ACTUALLY save people, a pedophile.

It actually just sounds a lot like the truth. Too bad it’s so inhuman it sounds inflammatory. 

Elon Musk is never going to fuck you

I'm not saying idiots with 88 in their handle are all Nazi pedos, but I have yet to meet one who wasn't. So... 

you’re a real piece of shit. 

If you think an expert giving a bluntly honest answer to a reporter’s question is “equally childish” as a publicity seeking billionaire accusing him of being a pedophile, it’s not the world that’s screwing up your kids.

I wanted to fight with you about considering an accusation of pedophilia “fair game”, but then I saw how you spelled “heroes” and realized you were a complete imbecile and not worth anyone’s time.