They need more points! Mike isn’t scoring! Garrett isn’t scoring! Joakim is eating his babies!

Wait wait wait.... How in the everloving fuck is Ariana joking about two dudes sucking up all the oxygen with their lame ass beef interpreted as attacking Kanye’s mental health? Is Kanye saying that no one is allowed to take attention away from him because he’s mentally ill? FOH.

Incredible, nearly every sentence you wrote is wrong.

Why would it shock you that a woman is clever and hilarious on Twitter?

Tito’s is legitimately a very good vodka.

Thank you, Lauren, for pointing out that this isn’t just juicy tea-spilling like the morons posting popcorn gifs in the mentions seem to think — this is a deeply fucked up misogynist with zero self-control lashing out at people because they helped his ex-wife. I hope his ex is screen-capping all of these tweets and…

It’s worth noting that Harris County has a larger population than 25 states. For all the “buh huh, Texas sucks” people, especially those on the East Coast, imagine that your happy little blue state got squashed together with, like, Kentucky, Tennessee and Indiana, and let me know how think your elections would go?

Please read the law you cited, the whole thing.

Please read the law you cited, the whole thing.

No, it’s still not true.

How does Diana’s prior employment make her NFL coverage self-enriching or otherwise conflicted?

That’s a criminal defense lawyer using unnamed “some scholars” as a stalking horse to write a both-sides explainer that eventually cites the same case I mentioned in concluding the anti-birthright side is full of shit. I’m trying to find an actual, identifiable scholar that claims that the it is anything other than…

I’m sorry, but are you trying to distinguish Wong Kim Ark on the grounds that the parents were “legal” aliens? Because that’s a ludicrous interpretation pushed by right-wing extremists and wholly dismissed by every single legitimate legal scholar, conservative and liberal alike. There were no laws regulating immigratio…

Please help a relatively casual tennis fan - who are the likable male tennis stars? Besides Andy Murray, I mean. Federer seems ok? Nadal and Djokovic seem awful, as do basically all of the ranked Americans. There are just so many awesome female stars - Serena and Venus, Naomi Osaka, Sloane Stephens, Caroline…

All you need to know about Askren is that he was Bellator’s welterweight champ and undefeated when his contract expired, and Bellator didn’t even try to re-sign him. He is literally the most boring “fighter” in the history of MMA, and he’s a total douchebag to top it all off.

I find basically everything about the Republican party morally reprehensible, but there’s still a line somewhere between the Senate Republican Victory Fund and the White People Pretending to be Black People to Create Insanely Blatant Racist Campaign Ads Fund.

He seems to despise literally everything about the game of baseball in 2018. I sure wish the folks at Fox would do him a favor and relieve him of his burden of calling games.

There are literally zero teams, in baseball or any other major sport, that believe in and practice “analytics only.” That is a nonsense straw man beloved by people like Michael Kay who feel threatened by numbers they don’t understand. If the Yankees were “analytics only,” they would have hired a statistician to manage…

“Do you remember baseball before you committed domestic violence?”

Yeah, working the casual misogyny and racism (“cockroach”) in was definitely not a good look.