I think deciding whether something is feminist or not based on the genders in the perpetrator/victim ratio is ridiculous, and to dismiss an issue's place as a feminist concern because "it happens to men too" is the absolute height of ignorance.

Absolutely understandable. I like to think about Dan Savage's advice for dealing with kinks, where basically he says: if you go into it like "this is the worst, I'm super sorry, but I have weird sex desires" of course the reaction is poor, versus "Hey, this is what it is, if you're up for it, we can do some freaky…

For me, it depends on the partner. I have a handful of weird body things that I always feel need some disclaiming (e.g., I have endocrine issues, which result in some skin pigmentation fuckery on/around my vulva; loose skin from major weight loss; a large, hypertrophic scar running across my lower back.) If I care…

Alex Hanna, you and I get each other and I have mad respect for your modeling skills. This is exactly why statistics are awesome. I love that data and manipulation looks ridiculous and boring to other people but when you fish in it, it is amazing. My own data sets look like the worst kind of punishment to most, and…

I'm willing to try, but I don't have a lot of hope (on this being the answer). My therapist has done a lot of good and has been, at times, a great ally for me. She has also been sort of like an occasionally shaming mother, and while I have always been honest with her...I'm not sure we have ever quite "clicked" in 3…

Since it is anti-depressant night: I don't feel like I can be objective about this. I've been on Lexapro for about 8 years, Wellbutrin XL for 1.5/2 years. I've maxed my dosage on both. I am tired of playing "let's play with the dose and see each other in a month" or "let's talk about changing, but make it sound so…

I don't know if my problem is oil, exactly, but my shit does migrate a LOT. (I think I have more problems because of my eyelids and eye shape, which is sort of smaller and crinkly. When I really smile, I look like a damn anime character. Totally disappearing eyes.) I like MUFE or UD's recent releases in liquid liners.…

In a PhD program for research (social) psychology. Take time, really take it. Not just a planned gap year, if you're not ready after that, keep at whatever else you're doing. The anxiety will not magically lift; I do not promise it will get better or worse, it stays about the same. If one goes away, another replaces…

About to end 3.5 years long distance. He took extra classes to stay student visa eligible, and has recently handed in his notice at his steady, relatively well paying job to move to the U.S. in April, for me. It's so stupid romantic that it kind of makes me barf.

If it could vibrate, that would be awesome. Get on it.

We don't tell guys to "fuck off" more because some men respond with compensatory aggression, often verbal but sometimes physical and/or sexual. I research this. I'm working on a paper with data that essentially, spell this out nice and clear: when you tell a dude to fuck off, some of them want to rape you (and not…

:D No worries; makeup became a hobby of mine and now I suppose I do talk about it in some sort of alien language. BB Cream is "blemish balm cream," it's a feature now in the U.S., but started in Asia where it was originally made for surgery patients to help them heal faster, but caught on with television/movie…

I was, for a really long time, VERY anti-liquid eyeliner. Just all like "what do I do with it? IT'S EVERYWHERE AND IT'S WET!" but I really like some of the new formulations that have come out, because they never, never move. I don't know if you'd ever want to try again, but if so, remember: liquid eyeliner is not for…

Food Network will help with some of their more basic shows. I definitely learned some tricks from Good Eats, the Barefoot Contessa (Ina Garten) and Mario Batali. Not anything complicated, just flavor combinations, seasoning and some alternative options. Particularly with GE, he often spoofs a single recipe multiple…

I second the BH&G cookbook. I remember my mother's original copy growing up, which was from the late 70's or so, and is just totally stained, stuck together and falling apart. She gave me my own copy when I moved out, and I sometimes use copies as a housewarming gift. It does have sections on more complicated things,…

I had this happen once in elementary school. A dietician made me list what I'd eaten the day before (which amounted to a normal breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack and would certainly have been within advised caloric limits). I don't remember everything I ate, I do remember that when she didn't find anything easy to…

I find it irksome that in what is presumably, some kind of committee of adults that decides how to do something like this, there is apparently not a single child and/or health psychologist. There's some amazing literature on something called the "minority stress paradigm" whereby groups who are stigmatized may…

I have to wonder if children are just having an awesome good time, hanging out in restrooms. I speak for no one else, but why would I bother questioning what types of genitals MAY or MAY NOT be using the same restroom? I'm there for universal bodily functions, taking minimal time and getting out, mostly trying to play…

Co-signed. "Ironic" prejudice is *still* prejudice.

Nah, there will be a consistent flow, just not as overwhelming. (When I was on, I had 1-2 e-mails per day on average, just not like the first week where it was like "OMG CAN WE TALK NOW?!" every hour.) Is this your first time e-dating? When I started I honestly felt like I had to answer every e-mail because it would…