Trump is apparently Jack Handey:

We’re going to simply take those overseas jobs back! It’s like a game of keep-away!

I went to 8 years of Catholic grade school. The boys uniform had brown corduroy pants.

I want to see more Gozerians!

Did I read that correctly? There is only one bookstore in that entire region?

I don’t believe anything any of those women say. They all whored themselves out to Hef to leach off his money and lifestyle. Let’s not pretend that any of them were actually attracted to a man old enough to be their grandfather.

What I don’ t understand about all this is that even after the cops and everyone verified that it was just a clock, they STILL PUT HIM IN HANDCUFFS. Why??

My god, how can ANYBODY take Fiorina seriously? This is a woman who oversaw one of the most disastrous mergers in corporate history (HP-Compaq) and pretty much drove HP into the ground.

Huckabee can’t wait until he cashes in on that sweet, sweet TeaParty speech circuit. I can picture him and Sarah Palin dry-humping each other on piles of Conservative cash.

Trump is quickly turning into Jon Lovitz’s SNL character “The Pathological Liar”.

I love Goonies, but as an Asian dude I have to kind of wince at the stereotypical portrayal of the Data character.....because of COURSE the Asian kid would be the techy gadget-guy right?

Queue the dramatic music!

-playing right into the conservatives hands. Their persecution complex just got validated.

20 bucks says old Dougie-boy there nailed the Mom too.

You don’t think leaving him the game with a damaged knee and letting him get knocked around is mismanagement?

but it seems like RGIII goes out of his way to get in front of microphones and cameras and say things that make even his staunchest defenders cringe.

I wonder if she will “Refudiate” any of Trump’s talking points.

I’m sure that nutbag Alex Jones is screaming “FALSE FLAG!!!” right now.....

95 men for every 5 women is pretty much the definition of a sausage-fest.

Sort of like when a racist says something racist and then apologies by saying “I am sorry if you’re offended.”