Old people are the shit. I wish I had those skills

i go back and forth on whether that one or this one is the best news blooper of all time.

I hope he makes a recovery like Kevin Everett

My grandma could go from a live chicken to fried chicken in the pan in like 8 minutes. Pick it up, wring it’s neck, pluck it, process it. Chatting away the whole time.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Obligatory... Ran when parked...

...as the only bones they found close to it were those of a deer.

I AM A HOUSTON FAN AND I WILL TAKE KAEP ANY DAY EVERY DAY PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I REFUSE TO WATCH ANOTHER 9 SACK SAVAGE GAME (do not get me started on the duane brown nonsense) bob mcnair, get fucked by a rusty chainsaw you racist homophobic shitheel and rick smith GET ME AN O LINE FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU’RE GOING TO…

Still not the most Canadian performance ever:

I was fine until Buxton popped on to thank everybody, and then I was just sad.

ALL OF THEM

The NCAA story is so important, but I’ve been reading Deadspin for about five years now and I couldn’t break the compulsion to click on something marked “double handjob.”

My god, that glorious ass...

All I Really Need to Know I Learned at Deion Sanders’s Prime Prep Academy.

Is this a bad time to remind Dodgers fans that their payroll is roughly twice that of the Astros?

As if. Show me any 12-year-old who will go to bed at 9pm, let alone earlier.

Do you have one of these for adults? I feel like having this posted next to my computer would help me go to bend instead of “I’ll just play one more game”. Also, I can’t do basic math.