"Do you have a national championship ring?"

The fans look pretty calm and sedate to me.

Did Abdullah learn any lessons? "Stop before you drop."

Fixed

"You're really trying to get me fired, aren't you?"

How far can you punt a football?

Rarely?

Combine it with Young's Double Chocolate Stout and thank me later.

He visited a children's hospital, frequently. He didn't volunteer or anything because fuck those kids, but he sure did love the cafeteria there.

So many pies were released by Baltimore that over in Korea, Félix felt nostalgic.

I also have a Point....brewed in Stevens Point, WI.

The Vikings could always pull a switcharoo, which Adrian Peterson believes to be beating the hell out of a wallaby.

It just fucking sucks that this guy of all people is effectively punished with a short timeout.

Yeah, racist would be if he singled out one tribe of people. Ferry was speaking about an entire continent, so.

Also, it's good with the press.

Wait until the video comes out.

Metapod used Harden! It's not very effective...

Their earlier tweets are pretty corny and tone-deaf. But, to be fair, they say that delivery is 90% of comedy, and DiGiorno doesn't do delivery.

So now you've sued the only business that needs punters and slammed the only media that follows punters. You're a real fucking genius.

If Sam doesn't catch on with the Cowboys, I suppose he is always able to join the Indians, Construction Workers, Sailors or Police Officers.