All for this guy:

An investigation by local authorities is ongoing.

They really are the best. Hands down.

...but spills the bank of English...

Swiped a decorative Christmas tree from the student union less than four hours upon installment. Re-installed atop the mini-fridge in our dorm.

He also likes to dip. Whaddya, gonna narc on me, bro?

Subbing your big hoe has got to be one of the worse pains ever.

Shins are worst.

My father is a pilot for a mainline carrier. This guy spits hot fire.

I have it on good authority (FIFA gamers across the pond) that Brits love him AND Two And A Half Men.

What are we going to do about Gus Johnson?

As the 2001 Nebraska state champion in Entertainment Speaking I am putting out a request for his final round ballots. There should be three forms. We've got to know the topic he chose.

Tap some strange.

Bears can outrun horses over short distances.

Yes! Uttered this exact claim the day this scandal broke.

THE BABY-MOMMAS HONOR GUARD

I try to use the phrase "Terrible. F." on a daily basis.

Werth's a BUM! He's a BUM.

Old Face Andre finally got his comeuppance.

Send him to the State Cadaver board. Don't med students work on headless bodies? Problem solved.