What? But shake weights are based on science! Just like those belts you put around your waist to vibrate the fat right off your abs!

i always just assumed the shake weight was a practical joke that got wildly out of control

Wow. I just spent 15 minutes watching videos on the youcanplayproject.org. The feels. Oh the feels. It helps me feel better about humanity, even if they are PR pieces. May people saying it, thinking about it, make it reality.

I dunno - there's no excuse for going as far as Kirk went. Dude went off the deep end of the communion wine chalice. What a shame.

I used to take my barbies to my brother's huge model aircraft carrier and make them have sex with his G.I. Joe's, then when they were done the barbies would throw the G.I. Joe's overboard and man the big guns and start shooting things. At first my parents were a little worried but apparently I told them that the…

Mr. Arthag got his vasectomy several years ago. Neither of us remembers what it cost, and neither of us makes "good" money. Therefore the cost was inconsequential. If we could afford it, they can. Period. That excuse is pure bull puckey. And I don't even know what bull puckey is.

Then he just sat back and waited for the hot crotch to roll in.

Right. Because women couldn't be made unhappy in the workforce by being forced to deal with misogynist douche canoes like this specimen here. That couldn't be it at all, and I'm sure any proximity to this person never drove anyone away as if her hair was on fire. That would be just outlandish.

Bro 1: Bro, you get the keg?

Samoas are worth it.

It is so good. Its like the X-Files but with less grossness and more cheekiness, and with a star who has the bestworst twinkly blue bedroom eyes in the UNIVERSE. I swoon when I see him, I really do.

Sarah Bunting's classic, Yes, You Are. http://tomatonation.com/culture-and-cr…

Baby Haa smiled at me for the first time today. I'm in heaven.

I also wonder about normal business hours for some stores. Have you ever gone into a store during the day and it been completely empty since everyone is at work? The US has got to make some reforms, because all of these low paying 24/7 jobs aren't cutting it for people.

I'd love that screen. Not for football, but imagine watching Pacific Rim on that thing. They'd be actual size Kaiju.

Right? This is like hearing Mayor McCheese went vegan or something.

Problem is, your emotional toolbox is all rusted and laced with tetanus. And since you're a dumbass, you never got your booster shot.

It's true that ladies don't start fights. But we will fucking end them.

I think she's hit the "I don't give a fuck what other people think" phase of her career, and I love it!

Please understand I am saying this without a shred of sarcasm: It gives me such joy to start a Wednesday morning with news of my evil overlord Martha throwing shade at GOOP. Never change, Martha!