He’s also responsible for the Tennessee Kids who performed at halftime and were conceived while he was coaching the Titans.

It was the drunk driving that made him an asshole, not being undocumented.

Waiters’ dog: SHIT!

I was hoping to hear how, 235 years later, the Brits would respond to the Patriots finally losing the big one.

An appropriate homage to former Eagles coach Buddy Ryan’s 4'6" defense.

Is it farther to Minneapolis, or by bus?

- Grace, I thought I told you to put peanut butter inside and stick them in the freezer?

Thank you for your (non-court-ordered) service.

Court

It would be good to look at this video of the same incident, shot from a different angle.

Don’t bury the lede.

[Lakers sue Kevin Durant for stealing their 2014-18 marketing slogan]

This is probably a good time to remember that the Humane Society of the United States is NOT affiliated with your local humane society / animal shelter.

I’m horrible with names. Perhaps a mnemonic would help.

+1

My favorite was Dick The Slow White Shooting Guard Snyder, a true trailblazer.

I really don’t care what LeBron does, but may I tell you about the bad beat that happened to me in fantasy football?

Yes, I know it’s an ad but ...

Yes, I know it’s an ad but ...

She’ll be the secret service agent who considers jumping in front of an assassin’s bullet, but then says “naaaaah” and Frank Underwood dies.