This may be the most important article on the Internet.

This is the most important article the Takeout has ever written. Not even kidding. It needs to be an ongoing series. Perhaps a follow up: “Will This Cheese Grill”?

I miss the days when people honored the unwritten rules

So, basically he pulled a Data?

Yes please.

The Emperor of Japan has even less power than Queen Elizabeth, who still formally has the power to veto bills, create peerages, and prorogue Parliament, among other things. She’s also formally commander-in-chief of the military. Under the UK’s (unwritten) Constitution a lot of government power is exercised by…

Technically, Queen Elizabeth still has constitutional powers and the government requires her assent on many things. She’s far more than a simple figurehead since she has vast powers, she just refuses to use them (to any great extent, that is) but if, say, someone like Trump was born into that mess.... Yeah....

Primarily figurehead, like Queen Elizabeth, when it comes to politics and government.

Yeah seeing is how we now live in a global society and thus all need to have the same concept of time, they need to cut that shit out.  If you’ll excuse me I have to go explain to the Chinese when new years is.  

A flawlessly executed double-tap.

But what about butterfinger BB’s.  Bart simpson is still hawking those in my universe. 

we need to get Butterfinger BB’s back. those were awesome!

Apropos of nothing, a Jolly Rancher story: Once, when I was but a wee slip of a lad, I attended a night time Christmas parade in a nearby small city. A fun time was had by all up until, while sitting perched on my dad’s shoulders, looking at a passing fire truck, I was struck in the head by a Jolly Rancher. And this…

Are you eating baker’s chocolate? Because that’s never, ever been my experience with dark chocolate that is made for eating.

Butterfinger Crisp is a completely underrated candy bar. It’s kind of like a Butterfinger in Whatchamacallit form. They’re a rare find, but so worth it.

Dark chocolate>milk chocolate. I like actually tasting cacao instead of oil and sugar. However, quality is always a factor. High quality milk chocolate>those dark chocolate baking squares you get at the super market.

YES. Dammit, some of us actually enjoy lemon and lime flavors.

Fifth Avenue has all the benefits of a butterfinger with none of the drawbacks!

Here’s the secret: full-size Reese’s are actually quite terrible, but the fun-size ones wrapped in foil are perfect.