Breast meat is ideal for things like nuggets and strips specifically because it’s not as flavorful as the dark meat, so it pairs well with all the breading and condiments. It’s like putting lipstick on pig, except if that worked and wasn’t a dig.

Love yourself more. 

®

Papaya is a wildly underappreciated fruit. 

Why not continue to offer The Real Deal™ to customers willing to pay a little more. It’s like all those sushi places that don’t use genuine wasabi. Give us discerning customers the option to pay more, while offering The New Cheapness® to everyone else! 

A pizza folded in half is just a Shaq-sized calzone. 

For real. It's baffling, considering BK, Wendy's, and a bunch of regional chains all deliver a better fast food burger. 

Do yourself a favor and at least buy better fastfood burgers.

The description of these new prep instructions does not, in fact, sound like McDonald's has finally gotten the memo that their burgers are dry and bland. 

Ah, overly sweet, the bane of canned coffee everywhere! Someday my foe, I will vanquish thee! 

They're just looking out for your wellbeing! 

Not quite as cheap as the JitB deal, but BK is national where that place is sadly regional. These tacos aren’t actually good, but they definitely hit that poverty demographic that BK has been knocking out of the park recently, with their $1.50 for 10 nugget deal and various app coupons. Thanks BK, for helping our…

That's a lot of effort for very little potential payoff. Agree to be harassed about voting for a crazy old man in return for maybe, just maybe, getting some free ice cream that's a bizarre, eclectic, and probably not good experimental flavor? Hard, hard pass. 

I wouldn't mind if a little Russian meddling interfered with Allison's terrible hot dig interview column.

I like their Honey BBQ a little more, but they make awesome chips! My favorite is the Red Hots.

The better regional chips in that area are Herr's and Martin's. 

As are Martin’s, and the same region as the other two.

You claim you must disqualify the excellent Martin's (Honey BBQ for life!) because it's too regional, and yet you then immediately begin your list with Jay's, a brand I've never even heard of despite having lived in many different regions of the country. 

And onions. And maybe tomatoes and pickles. 

I'd love a take on a redeemed Gannondorf.