It does show. 

Do you? Do you really? I posit that you do not, and that while not the same, it is, in fact, better. 

True. The Silent Hill HD remasters come to mind. They somehow lost the final build and ended up using a less finished one, bugs and all. However, even then I bet they could have tested and fixed it if they wanted. Frankly, if they can’t do it right, they shouldn’t do it at all. If I’m buying a rerelease or remaster of…

I’ve never even heard of such a thing! 

I haven’t had one in at least seven years, and can’t rightly remember. I want to say it’s mint flavored with entirely unnecessary food coloring. 

The dystopia is now. 

It’s called a frito pie. 

Right? Who the fuck does that?! 

If Doritos flavors came in liquid condiment form, and were available in stores, I’d probably ruin my life spreading them on all kinds of things regularly. 

It typically takes about an hour per standard shot or glass of beer for your body to process alcohol. Don’t drink and drive.

Okay, but making the present more bearable weighed against the odds of a statistically very safe method of travel seems like drinking is the way to go. Especially since many plane crashes have had survivability rates more tied to where you happened to be sitting. Then again, it’s quite possible you’ve got more to live…

You deserved this, and more, probably. Please stop this feature already. It ceased being amusing ages ago. 

God bless those little monsters for doing you a solid! 

He says, while carefully concealing his own culinary foibles. 

You know you can just ‘cut out the middleman’ now, right? You can buy a bag containing only the rye chips.

You disgust me! 

YES! 

Let’s see...my favorite condiment for french fries is tartar sauce. I enjoy peanut butter and sriracha sandwiches. I like anchovies on pizza, and use Worcestershire sauce liberally in dishes. I like my bacon super crispy, and even burned black. I inherited from my mother a love of boxed mac and cheese churched up with…

Well, no de facto jurisdiction over. They technically still claim de jure jurisdiction, even in they’re no longer vocal about it.