Escort here! Her job IS hugely different from mine; I could never be a porn actress, given my hatred of cameras & being in the public eye & my lack of exhibitionist tendencies.

If you do something well, never do it for free.

Another good way not to go home with a douchebag is to wear some really thick clothes, like heavy wool or leather, and then wrap yourself liberally in razor wire. Douchebags hate getting cut up by razor wire. Just be careful around upholstery or curtains.

VH1's Celebreality era was fantastic and I refuse to apologize for my undying love of all those terrible shows.

I think just about all of us have been sucked in by at least one reality tv show. For a while there my husband and I were inhaling Wife Swap like it was an illicit substance. It was positively indecent how much we enjoyed judging the couples week after week.

This is the person in the video

That's not negative personality traits, that's revenge for being forced to get up and face the day way too early.

First world problems! Hurray!

AND I'M DEAD.

This would be funny if it weren't so true. None of my friend's kids will drink plain water, because that's GROSS. Really kid? Try drinking water infected with cholera or parasites. That's GROSS. Shut up and drink up!

I like it. Mixes well with vodka.

A silent guardian... a watchful protector... a white supremacist knight.

You can't exactly fault them when you gave them absolutely ZERO context.

Holy shit scariest sentence in the Western world right now: "HEY I'M GEORGE ZIMMERMAN AND I'M HERE TO HELP!"

The last line of this article literally made me LOL and say "oh shit!" Out loud. To myself.

You probably shouldn't shoot people while on neighborhood watch, either, but G.Z. is a maverick so rules don't apply.

Batzimman. Bammerman. Zimbatman.

Part of me wishes the blondes got smacked in the face. So does the other part.

Yeah, he was in a way the glue of the show. Or at least the glee club.