I am an asshole. Albeit, one with more money than you, evidently.

"jacuzzis"

So...how much should it cost? I suppose they need to lower the price until it's affordable for YOU, right?

Article needs to be retitled: Who do you think has the best mail refresh animation: iOS or Android?

This is old news. It was revealed in the book, "Area 51: An Uncensored History of America's Top Secret Military Base," by Annie Jacobsen, released last year. Yawn.

The next-gen breakthrough will be games made for 4K displays. Current HD (1080p) is so early-2000s.

x = current time; y = x – 30 seconds, the amount of time before someone accesses porn.

"...bounces around through boxes you don't even wanna know about."

Never trust anyone with a "helmet strap" beard. Unless they're Amish.

What a great business model: Sell more devices, make less money, claim you're winning.

Hmmm, I applied that logic to a nuclear missile purchase, but failed. I wonder why. Could it be that a nuclear missile serves no purpose whatsoever in the hands of a civilian?

Circa 2006: "Our Zune will kick the iPod's ass. It's lighter, faster, better, has more battery life, a better screen. [Ballmer drops the mic in the middle of the stage] I'm fuckin' outta here..."

I have a feeling that the CEO of this company is going to plead for the same leniency the big banks received when they fucked up. Namely, they'll want an interest-free loan or other form of cash infusion to help it stay afloat. Of course, frame the plea with stories of lost jobs, how half the staff served in the…

Not only is it 100% Mylar, it's "100% Mylar."

I saw a picture of a slum dweller in Calcutta laughing at another slum dweller because his leftover chunk of half-eaten chicken breast had more feces on it than his.

Foursquare rules! I checked in to my local coffee shop 57 times last month, which makes me the Mayor. I then lost my mayorship, which I soon regained. Then I lost it again.

The entire article is an homage to "Full Metal Jacket." Hello, "Private Pyle!" Better yet, it's an homage to the scene when Gunner Sargeant Hartman is lecturing the recruits about the abilities of former Marine Corps shooters, who would one day grow up to become famous marksmen, such as Lee Harvey Oswald and Charles…

miniUSB/USB ports sucks if only for the lack of tactile feedback they give on engagement.

You'll see that plane in the JetBlue fleet soon. Low prices don't come out of thin air, you know.

My biggest beef with WP7 is that it uses a lot of animations for the sake of animations ("Look at this tile flying off to god-knows-where, but it looks great doesn't it?!"). There isn't any spatial landmarks, like the left-to-right-to-left hierarchy of iOS; I have no idea what's up, down, left, right, where I came…