This is the right answer.

Huge in The 1970s, like fondue was for honkeys.

Those long-ass prayers are apparently also a hillbilly-that-found-Jesus-after-struggling-with-addiction thing, if my dad is any indication.

Honey, be glad you’re not white and going home to your very religious white family to experience the “wejus” prayer. Jesus, wejus thank you for all the people here, wejus stand in your presence and thank you, wejus thank you for the house and all in it, wejus want to say......etc. For approximately 45 minutes. If…

My girlfriend's Jamaican and someone has to do at least a fifteen minute prayer at every single gathering that involves food. I'm talking even kids birthdays that are outside BBQ style. Yes, okay, God can move mountains...and he can move rivers...and the heavens...and roads...and yes...okay...Jesus can do all that…

My dad was a deacon. Growing up I never wondered why food was cold.

Any prayer that takes more than 30 seconds is too goddamned long. My grandfather was adamant about saying a prayer before every meal but it took maybe ten seconds at most. My brother-in-law is ordained and wants to add in prayers for every family member, even the ones not present, and at times it feels like he’s…

The real test is the first time you actively refuse to attend the Christmas Eve service.

[ ] #Rekt

And at next season’ s party he is going to be all up in the face of every single woman there he doesn’t recognize until he has to be escorted out by security or gets maced by a particularly well-prepared attendee.

Nope. Laughing hysterically.

Yes, but when his chest was fully puffed out, he was pushing a c-note easy.

Yes, but he had titanium-alloy elbows that he wasn’t afraid to use.

Yeah, but that sort of thing never stops athletes from previous eras from imaging the current guys aren’t as good.

Some idiot blogger posted a pic of her kids (one boy, one girl) to IG - both were topless and running through sprinklers. Innocent childhood moment? Yes. Maybe not the best idea to broadcast to your thousands of followers, most of whom you’ve never met? Probably. A few people suggested that given that her account is…

This. I have no photos of my daughter on my phone. I’ve TAKEN photos of her with the phone, but that shit goes on the PC and gets wiped off the phone ASAP. Don’t need photos of my kid floating around out there with Chinese hackers or some rando who steals my phone one day (this has never happened to me, but based on…

I knew a guy who worked for DOJ in this area. There are more of those pedos out there than you think. This guy was VERY protective of his kids online footprint. Made me think twice.

It’s not even about the pedos. It’s about embarrassing your kid. Who, 50 years from now, will take you to Guatemela because she can’t find an elder care facility shitty enough in Arkansas or Kentucky or Louisiana (basically anywhere the SEC has home games) to leave you to die alone.

Cam Newton dances after scoring a touchdown in the NFL (you know how fucking hard it is to score a touchdown in the NFL?) and is called a thug. . . . a THUG for DANCING. Some attention-seeking lady even wrote a letter proclaiming that he was basically ruining her kid’s life. However, this shit goes on in every hockey…

Team is dropsy as hell