@Sapphire and Chronic: That was Marty Mornhinweg, who while coaching the Lions TOOK THE FUCKING WIND.

Only 99,998 Cowboys fans left unsatisfied.

@NotACrook: Honestly, this is even better than I remember.

Did he let you break a chair on his back?

@Neil Hamburger: Huh? Then who's The Machine?

Suuuuuucks.

moss weed hookup #sportsguyDMs

Moss is going to get slammed now that he's gone, but he was far from the most distracting dick on that team.

@sir_pantsalot: But if they were less expensive they wouldn't make as much money, meaning they wouldn't be able to pay the rent on the restaurant space, or if they could, they couldn't employ enough people to make the burritos, or they'd be charging you for that chipotle Tabasco, and ohmygodwe'rereallyfuckedhere.

So basically, you might as well start drinking now. Like right now. Because you probably don't have a job or a home. And if you do, you won't soon.

@Delonte, Interrupted: Who could afford a burrito in times like these?

Next, a condor is going to fly in with the game ball, and Dick Cheney is going to shoot Nolan Ryan in the face.

The charges included inciting a McRiot.

@TheMisanthrope: For $7.50 an hour I'd let someone else handle it too.

I just met someone who likes Joe Buck. I don't know why because I stopped the conversation immediately.

@When_you_get_the_money_you_get...: No. But only because I've repressed that memory.

I don't believe in nuthin' no more.

Well, at least he learned a lesson in all of this.

But he bent over backward and kissed his own asshole last night to tell you that Moss and Harvin were out of position on two of those picks that were clearly bad decisions.

@colloquial clipsburgh: I'm not out on Sunseri yet. I think the offensive line has been MUCH better (as the quality of competition has gone down, probably no coincidence), and it's made all the difference for Tino. The defense has still lapsed at times, but the pass rush is so good and fixing to get even better with…