@Old Gil: I did well on the SAT too, but I just took the bar exam and I know exactly how that guy feels. Before you read the first question, you're already convinced that A) you're gonna fail, and B) they're gonna fuck with you, and that's why you're gonna fail. It's fucking terrible.

There's a song by an awful band called Waking the Cadaver that consists primarily of really loud driving bass drums and pained, squealing pig noises for vocals. It's absolutely terrible and it would scare the shit out of people.

@Jefferson Short Bus: There it is.

If some other band did that, it would be self-indulgent and annoying. But when AC/DC does it, it's the greatest thing ever.

@Chamomiles Davis: You say that as though it's a prerequisite for being better than Bobby Hoying.

Looks like she just smelled a Great Moment in Poop History.

If Markazi just would have offered to donate his check for the week to the Boys and Girls Club, I'm sure ESPN would have looked the other way.

@tekamul: 8 minutes.

So it ran down his leg and she still got pregnant? Did he kick her in the box with that leg? I'm confused.

Happy to see Jim Mora made the cut again.

March 22, 2009, Sypher has oral sex with her lawyer Dana Kolter and he agrees to help her with her situation.

@Kofi Appiah Biney: He wants to, but he couldn't bring himself to reach for it.

Did you consider answering all of these questions by just repeating them as declarative sentences?

Redskins fans who are excited about McNabb - funny or sad?

Vegetarians have increased their population and it is increasing at the moment

@ClownBaby: +1

And then Farooq would go and set his own feet on fire. And then Uday Hussein would withhold the penny and have Farooq tortured.

It's always the ones you least expect.

They took it to Des Moines? Probably wishes it could choke itself to death.

Can I just send in my "Vacation to the Bunny Ranch in an AC Green Jersey" photo album?