Glad those guys picked a Yankees-Angels game so Real America could represented at the bicoastal elite communist orgy of doom.

"Send over a bottle of bubbly with a bucket of ice and a card. Have it say, 'Tough break, get drunk on me. Use the bucket to ice down your marbles, Yours, Z.'"

This one actually made me feel sorry for the kid. He obviously did the work himself, although it was lacking in imaginary pet cats.

BakersDozen: You figure out what to do with Carlos Zambrano yet?

You haven't lived until you've borne a child and found yourself jamming on his starfish like it's a Game Boy button.

That vacuum review was the word "poop" away from being right at home in the Funbag.

4chan: Because looking at porn isn't as much fun when you can't reach your dick.

@EddieSuttons SouthernComfort: Ha. And to think I almost said Superman instead.

"Okay, first Mrs. Fawcett, now Mr. Jackson, please tell me this is a mistaken rumor, if not this is just as sad as 9/11."

@Its The Beer Talking: I laughed, I cringed, I +1'd.

@ineedsmass: Bow to your sensai...

@Astronaut Mike Dexter: The guy is extremely adept at mashing together two easily distinguishable things.

Come on, Brian. When you get the chance to use this picture, you have to do it.

I've never imagined shitting on enemies while I poop.

Even Mel Gibson waited until the kid was born to start throwing punches.

Today, we are all Breleigh Ann Favre.

"Overall I would say if you like bitter hot drinks this is for you but I prefer fish, mac and cheese, and tasty cake."

+ infinity to whoever outs THE MENTALIST.

@UpstateUnderdog: Who could? If only we could all make as lasting a contribution to Deadspin as did Concrete Brad.

@Lionel Osbourne: You're showing your age.